Remembering Lawrence King

[filkertom]

huskiebear just told me about something I hadn't heard about, or if I did it didn't register. Something she saw on Ellen.

Something horrible.

It's about a fifteen-year-old kid in Oxnard, CA named Lawrence King. Friends called him Larry. He was openly gay, and it's been reported that he sometimes "dressed in a feminine manner". It seems as if, in anticipation of Valentine's day, he told another male student, Brandon McInerney, that he had a crush on him.

Four days later, McInerney shot Larry in the head.

There are, of course, tributes and presidential candidate statements and religious controversy (read the comments section of that last one -- it's absolutely fascinating, and more than a little revealing about the conflict within the Catholic community). But one thing I noticed which hit me a little hard... something which already influenced me awhile back, and which steered the lyrics of one of my songs.

Lots of people are talking about "tolerance".

And RIGHT FUCKIN' THERE is the problem.

I can't remember where I saw this, it's not an original thought with me, but... you tolerate something which is wrong. The word "tolerance" itself implies the wrongness.

And, goddammit, it is not wrong to be gay.

It is not wrong to have a crush on somebody.

It is beyond wrong, certainly inclusive of wrong but also way the hell beyond, to commit violence on someone for having a crush on you. Or just being gay. Or "dressing in a feminine manner".

Again and again and again we go over this, a zillion times and more, played out like consecutive train wrecks. Unless you are their partner, someone else's sexual choices do not affect you in any way. (If you feel compelled to say What if it's a stalker or a rapist or a child molester? I'll metaphorically smack you upside the head. Those are crimes of violence and power and control and terror.) If someone tells you they have a crush on you, and you don't return it, you say, "I'm sorry, I don't feel that way." Or, if you're a fourteen-year-old boy, maybe you freak out, or maybe not, or maybe you discover something about yourself, maturity, sexual identity, humor, who knows.

You do not go get a gun and shoot the person in the head.

The word is not "tolerance". It's "acceptance". People are different, and unless their differences directly affect you it's not your problem.

But no. Two lives, two families are destroyed. Because somebody taught Brandon McInerney to hate.

This is the greatest reason to fight for gay/lesbian rights, for acceptance. Because "tolerance" may be better than outright hatred, but it's nowhere near enough. And it's getting too easy for some people to commit violence on others because of differences, real or perceived. People have to be shown that the differences are not that different, or not that important, or not anybody else's business.

Rest in peace, Larry, and condolences to your family and friends. May some good come from your tragic loss.

ETA: fixing up the wording here and there.

ETA 2: Adding a link to a report at Think Progress about the Ellen episode. Goddamn it, I wept.

Comments

[msgeek.livejournal.com]

I think the question we all need to ask is this: What WOULD Jesus Do?

If you take the Gospels as...well...GOSPEL, it is clear that Jesus would probably share his bread with them and show them kindness and unconditional positive regard. That's what he did with the publicans and sinners and prostitutes and the other wretched of the Earth he by-and-large ministered to.

It's interesting that he didn't spend a whole lot of time with the rich and powerful, until he was arrested and brought before them in chains.

Note: I am not a Christian. I'm just someone who hates hypocrisy and points it out every chance I get. There are a lot of gay-bashing hypocrites out there.

[dbcooper.livejournal.com]

This is something everybody on the planet should read, from the icon on down. Not that Tom's original post isn't, but this is EXACTLY what people seem to forget.

[bayushisan.livejournal.com]

You have my complete agreement on that. I hate hypocrisy with every fiber of my being. It hurts my heart to see people who profess to love their neighbor yet will use the tragic murder of a young person to push any kind of agenda.

Why not try and help the community heal? It seems to me that things like that would be a better way to serve the community.

[mathmuffin.livejournal.com]

I will be teaching Sunday School this morning on the Gospel of John, Chapter 9, verses 1-41.
As Jesus went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Teacher, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." ...
Jesus heals the man, the local religious leaders find out about it and interrogate the man to find evidence against Jesus, the man defends Jesus and becomes one of his followers, and Jesus preaches some metaphors about blindness toward God.

This story contains many themes, but since my students are rambunctious 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, I can cover only one theme. I had originally planned on a theme about not blaming people just because something bad happens to them. After reading Tom Smith's blog and the comments here, I am going with a theme that we should accept people and not despise them, despite any condition they were born with. Given that one student has mentally disabled brothers and another student is the son of a two-women couple, this message should have immediate impact.