HO! WE'VE GOT USENET SI-I-I-IGN!

[filkertom]

Back in the heyday of Mystery Science Theater 3000, there was a thriving Usenet community of people riffing on articles, fanfic, spam, and the like. Their home was Michael K. Neylon's Web Site #9, which unfortunately went away quite awhile ago. Well, all praise to Keith Palmer, who has diligently gone through Google Groups and brought those old goodies to light with The MSTing Mine. (Many thanks to Anne for finding this one -- I've been looking for an archive of Web Site #9 for years.)

If you don't know MST3K, or you do but you want some resources, here's your hookup:

• the Wikipedia page
• the official MST3K.com page
• Satellite News, the official fan club
• an MST3K Wiki
• mst3k.booyaka.com, another reference guide
• Rifftrax (Mike, Kevin, and Bill)
• Cinematic Titanic (Joel, Trace, Frank, Mary Jo, Josh)

Gimme a riff -- any riff you like. Context optional. In fact, it's more fun that way -- we'll try to guess what MST3K episode your riff is from. Here's one to get you started: "What am I? I'm a moose!" "Grandpa, that's Aunt Tessie's urn!" "PFBBFFPPBPFFT!"

Comments

[ericcoleman]

I think the oboe's coming from that window.

(I may not have the quote quite correct, but it should be close)

[foenix.livejournal.com]

It's an easy one, but one of my favourites.

Big McLargehuge!

[annathepiper]

Crow: "Today the moon hit a man's eye like a big pizza pie!"
Tom: "Scientists say, 'That's amore'!"

[scifantasy.livejournal.com]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFHlJ2voJHY

[foenix.livejournal.com]

One of their better running gags, yes. =)

[cscottd.livejournal.com]

"I'm a danger to myself and others!"

[alverant.livejournal.com]

Pumaman
Crow: Pu-maman. He flies like a moron.
Mike: Bible? Bunch of hooey. It's all a bunch of aliens and spinning globes.
Crow: Let's face it. The hero of the movie is this guy. (Said about the main character's sidekick/mentor.)
Crow: hahaha! No you look great!
Tom: The gods are dragging him around by his BVDs.

The Day the Earth Froze
(said in Bullwinkle voice) Will somebody put me out, I seem to be on fire?
Hey! What gives there's no boat in this tree!
*goofy laughter when the character's smile*

[sdelmonte]

On a xerox machine, you!

[ooka.livejournal.com]

Tom: Oh, he's got a genie automatic garage... door... opener...
Joel: That's a swiss army joke.
Tom: sorry.

Or

Crow: Camera three get off the track... Camera 3? CAMERA THREE OH DEAR GOD!

Did I mention I already HAVE a boat...?

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

When... you want... the flavor of bacon in a dip!

The Day The Earth Froze is one of my absolute favorite eps. But for sheer goofiness, it's hard to beat Pyoomaman. (PyooMAYman?)

[hughcasey.livejournal.com]

"Woo-Hoo! Yippee! We're the living dead! Yay!"

"But I'm NOT an alien!"

Slab bulkhead!
Bridge Largemeat!
Punt Speedchunk!
Butch Deadlift!
Bald Bigplank!
Splint Chesthair!
Flint Ironstag!
Bulk Vanderhuge!
Thick Mcrunfast!
Buff Drinklots!
Slunk Slabchest!
Fist Rockbone!
Stomp Beefmob!
Smash Lampjaw!
Punch Rockgroin!
Buck Plankchest!
Stump Chokmen!
Dirk Hardpeck!
Rip Steakface!
Crud Bonemeal!
Brick Hardmeat!
Rip Slabcheek!
Big McLargeHuge
Bob Johnson! No wait...

[camric.livejournal.com]

Saw this a long time ago, so may not be exact and I can't remember the movie (something involving space travel)

Guy talking about a scientist: "He has the genius of an Einstein."
Crow: "Yeah, Morty Einstein."

Dunno why, but that really cracked our group up that was watching the episode.

[eleri.livejournal.com]

"Anyone got change for a 10 year old?"

[huskiebear.livejournal.com]

Hmm...messiah tracks...two, three days old.

[zellion.livejournal.com]

"Sorry about my face."

My problem is in college we only had a few dvd's to watch on my roommate's computer and two of them were MST3K episodes. So I've seen two or three episodes a LOT more than others.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

That is one of the absolute all-time best. I remember how we just gaped at the screen.

[smparadox.livejournal.com]

One of the ones that stuck with me the most was during an oddly out-of-place closeup: "Tell me about your homeworld, Usul."

[devospice.livejournal.com]

The line that sold me on the show was "Next stop, Tralala, home of the Crawling Eye. Everybody out!"

[jcw-da-dmg.livejournal.com]

♫"He TRIED to kill me with a forklift . . . "

[mg4h.livejournal.com]

I can't remember the exact quote, but it went something like:

And if you're just joining us, we're still watching [Show name here].

We had to keep pausing the movie, we were running out of air laughing over it.

[misterseth.livejournal.com]

Whenever any rocket is shown:
I said LUNCH not LAUNCH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pa10IIc4dLo

Also anything from Santa Claus conquers the Martians

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Olé!

[psywildfire.livejournal.com]

Normal view... Normal View... NORMAL VIEW! NORMAL VIEEEEEEEEW!

-WF

[ooka.livejournal.com]

Hercules vs. the Moonmen

That was my very first episode. I knew I'd found something wonderful when that line came up.

[palenoue.livejournal.com]

Crow: I'm sorry, I just can't accept that man as the lead character. Movie, I want to see your supervisor.

[the-blue-fenix.livejournal.com]

"Grignr?"
"Get over it."

You are a wonderful link-finding human and I'm very glad to find these again.

[kshandra]

HOW much Keefe is in this movie?

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Oh no, NO, they're doin' it clown-style!

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

"Another great Roger Corman walking scene."

"Open channel D."

"Do-dee-do-dee-doo-doot, do-dee-do-dee-doo-doot..."

"That was for my mother! And that was for my father! And that was just because I can do it!"

"Oh, looks like they're going to visit Keith Richards."

"♫Sandy Frank, Sandy Frank....♫"

[voiceofkiki.livejournal.com]

Miles O' Keefe! I still can't see that film title without pronouncing it as "Kah-vay Dwellers."

My favorite bits were the too, too close scenes with the father and daughter.

"Later... later!"

[voiceofkiki.livejournal.com]

"Every frame of this film looks like someone's last known photograph!"

"Damn smoochers on my property!"

Satellite News has a great section called Ward E. It's full of obsessive lists. I love it! LOOOOOVE!

[the-sheryl.livejournal.com]

"Oh, no, the humidifier committed suicide!"

[fredhuggins.livejournal.com]

One of my all-time favorites:

Movie: "All the roads are blocked and the phone is dead!"
Joel: "There's no way out of this film!"

[alverant.livejournal.com]

Yeah, how good can a movie be when the male lead rides a 10-speed and needs chinderwear?

(I heard Time Chasers was made AFTER the show became popular. The MST3K group was actually invited to the premier. According to the wikipedia page, they're making a SEQUEL with the subtitle "Nick of time".)

[ladysmith.livejournal.com]

"And what do we call the positive pole?"

"Lech Walesa!"

[nightmarewriter.livejournal.com]

Were they the ones who noticed that Manos Hand of Fate works perfectly with the song "Hotel California"?

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

"It's the Monsters of Rock tour!"
"We will, we will ROCK YOU!"

[dan-ad-nauseam.livejournal.com]

Instant Karma. Just add water.

Best. Invention. Exchange. Ever.

[ipslore.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched nearly as much MST3K as I'd like to, so the only riff I actually remember is "It's Martin Luther nailing up each of his 95 theses individually!"

[eibii.livejournal.com]

"AAAH! I've gone blind! I'm looking at the back of my retinas!"
"It's the movie, Crow."
"The movie went blind."

"Mmm, delicious kitty... kitty looks like a potato!"

"I wonder if there's beer on the sun."

[marsdejahthoris.livejournal.com]

"What is it about the gates of hell that compels people to WANDER INTO THEM?"

"Just because you CAN edit doesn't mean you SHOULD."

"They got into port and everyone was okay, they went out to lunch and felt better!" *to the tune of "The Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald," which made me fall off the COUCH laughing.

"Don't look, Marian!"

[malkchild.livejournal.com]

"My name is Vadinyo." "I am an onion." - Puma Man
"My name is Pleasence and I am funky!" - Puma Man
"Who is this gentle stranger with pecs like melons and knees of fringe?" - Ator the Fighting Eagle