Spam Subject Line Of The Day

[filkertom]

"Wonderful sex? It is thinkable!"

Got any good ones lately?

Comments

[ladystarblade.livejournal.com]

"Make pigs oink all day!"

I almost opened that one...but my self-preservation instincts overrode my curiosity for once.

[ruisseau.livejournal.com]

This made me think,

"Wonderful Sex? In My Vagina?"
"It's more likely than you think!"

[timemachineyeah.livejournal.com]

I once got a spam titled "Distilling Love From Antique Mirrors", and while I'm thinking there might be some innuendo I missed (and I did not open it) the image really stuck with me. If I were some great poetic indie rocker I'm sure I'd work the phrase into a song. But, I'm not. So the world will have to get by without that piece of music, which would have been brilliant and life-altering, I'm sure.

[phillip2637.livejournal.com]

My web mail interface truncates subject lines sometimes. This morning I got, "You need a bigger pen". Made me think that maybe the one I have isn't mighty enough to take on some swords.

[wildcard9.livejournal.com]

"Too big for your girlfriend? Inconceivable!!" Cue the Princess Bride reference!! I don't think that word means what he thinks it does.

[snobahr.livejournal.com]

It's supposed to be mighter than the sword, after all... There are some situations that deserve a bigger pen, if you think about it... ;)

[ionicaq.livejournal.com]

"Baldness is now optional"
"Your cholesterol drugs - Did you know?"
"Want it to hang?"
"Condom Sampler Pack Giveaway - Its Always Better to be Safe than Sorry"

Eh, nothing all that great...

[kilbia.livejournal.com]

Nothing spectacular, but I've noticed how many of those "his wang is so huge and my mouth is so small" are now coming from names I would normally consider male.

I guess it's cool they want to try and appeal to the gay market, but IMO they aren't thinking hard enough. They should send these things from gender-ambiguous names and appeal to both crowds at once!

[jenrose]

Well, if one really were too big for one's girlfriend, it would actually be difficult to conceive. However, given that women are designed to give birth to whole babies, the whole "too big" concept is a bit pretentious.

[dr-zrfq.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, this one wasn't funny: "Jazz great Joe Zawinul dies at 75"

And it's accurate; Joe went into the hospital a month ago with some rare form of skin cancer, and he passed on Sept. 11th.

*sigh* ::goes to put on the "Mercy, Mercy, Mercy" CD::

mostly

[tinkerbell1980.livejournal.com]

have u?

[realinterrobang.livejournal.com]

I got one advertising something called "Wondercum." I think I laughed for about five minutes... There's just something so delightfully 70s gonzo pr0n about it.

Whizgiggle! What a great word.

[hearth-spirit.livejournal.com]

"Womens always whizgiggled at me and even bucks did in the urban WC!
Well, now I whoop at them, because I took ."

Yeah, it should probably be...

[hearth-spirit.livejournal.com]

"Too big to go without foreplay?"

(grin)

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

I got one from "Regret Farm" a while back.

It makes a fascinating mental image. (What, for instance, do you manure them with?)

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

Has a sortof Tim Powers air to it...

[moquif.livejournal.com]

None really strike out. I check my email online before I download so spam doesn't touch my machine. What amuses me the most is spam that tries too hard to bypass the filters. The subject looks like so much geekspeak it's obvious that it's spam.

I also like the ones saying I won contests I didn't enter, approvals for loans I didn't apply for, and warnings from banks I don't patronize.

So much spam and phishing can be ignored by thinking about each email before opening.

[jannyblue.livejournal.com]

I just seem to get a bunch of stuff in Chinese...

I did get a "spam" email from a canned tomato company the other day...

But I recall signing up for that at a street fair a couple of years ago because I thought it would be funny to win the "1-year supply of canned tomatoes!!!" they were raffling off at the time...

I'm weird like that.

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

I keep thinking that someone with a melodic voice should string a bunch of these together as the lyrics to a romantic song. No, not you, Tom. You're too busy. You'd need hours and hours of going through your spam to pick up enough lines to work. And someone like ShoEboX would put it to a horrible fast beat that you couldn't hear the lyrics to.

I was thinking someone like Tony Cheese. Or Vic Damone, if he's still alive. Something in a jazz waltz mode, like "Do I Hear A Waltz?"

[starmalachite.livejournal.com]

I got one today for "diabetic supplies" that gave me pause. Even if I needed them, even if I saw no problem with buying something critical to my health from a spammer, I suspect I'd think twice about buying them from XXXXX@XXXXXdandylittlecandies.XXX.

[lkw7.livejournal.com]

I got "Solve crimes for a living" which was an ad for a forensics program. A nice change from the porn/Viagra spam.

[filkferengi]

Best of all, it would scan to "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All."