Crappy Movies I Have Seen

[filkertom]

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IMDB's Top 100 Crappy Movies of All Time generate this HTML for your own page at ObeytheFist.com
Rank Movie Didn't See It/ Started It/ Finished It/ Liked It! 1 Manos' the Hands of Fate (1966) Finished It 2 From Justin to Kelly (2003) 3 Future War (1997) Finished It 4 Space Mutiny (1988) Finished It 5 Troll 2 (1990) 6 Eegah (1962) Finished It 7 Hobgoblins (1987) Finished It 8 Backyard Dogs (2000) 9 Santa with Muscles (1996) 10 Gigli (2003) 11 Going Overboard (1989) 12 Werewolf (1996) Finished It 13 Uomo puma, L' (1980) Finished It 14 Giant Spider Invasion, The (1975) Finished It 15 Glitter (2001) 16 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997) 17 Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994) 18 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) Finished It 19 Kazaam (1996) 20 Leonard Part 6 (1987) 21 Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000) Finished It 22 Hercules in New York (1970) Started It 23 Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996) 24 Baby Geniuses (1999) 25 It's Pat (1994) 26 2001: A Space Travesty (2000) 27 Jaws: The Revenge (1987) Started It 28 Cool as Ice (1991) 29 Bolero (1984) Started It 30 Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (1994) 31 Mitchell (1975) Finished It 32 House of the Dead (2003) 33 Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989) 34 Teen Wolf Too (1987) 35 Smokey and the Bandit III (1983) 36 Vercingétorix (2001) 37 Captain America (1991) Started It 38 Steel (1997) 39 Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988) 40 Cat in the Hat, The (2003) Started It 41 Mannequin: On the Move (1991) 42 Rollerball (2002) 43 Ringmaster (1998) 44 Tarzan, the Ape Man (1981) Started It 45 Master of Disguise, The (2002) 46 Problem Child 2 (1991) 47 Spice World (1997) 48 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995) 49 Mr. Nanny (1993) 50 Cop & 1/2 (1993) 51 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997) 52 Honey (2003) 53 Street Fighter (1994) 54 Jaws 3-D (1983) 55 Double Dragon (1994) Liked It! 56 Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) 57 Crossroads (2002) 58 Barb Wire (1996) 59 Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, An (1997) 60 Bats (1999/I) 61 FeardotCom (2002) 62 Universal Soldier: The Return (1999) 63 RoboCop 3 (1993) 64 Mangler, The (1995) 65 Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) Started It 66 Iron Eagle II (1988) 67 Best Defense (1984) 68 Mac and Me (1988) 69 Ticker (2001) 70 Grease 2 (1982) Started It 71 Mr. Magoo (1997) Started It 72 Glen or Glenda (1953) Started It 73 Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) 74 Mr. Wrong (1996) 75 Pokémon the First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back (1999) 76 Highlander II: The Quickening (1991) Started It 77 Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) 78 Avengers, The (1998) Started It 79 Jury Duty (1995) 80 Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977) Finished It 81 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003) 82 Derailed (2002) 83 Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) Finished It 84 Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) 85 Freddy Got Fingered (2001) 86 Caddyshack II (1988) 87 Weekend at Bernie's II (1993) 88 Omega Code, The (1999) 89 Super Mario Bros. (1993) Finished It 90 Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002) 91 Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978) Finished It 92 Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) 93 Endless Love (1981) 94 McHale's Navy (1997) 95 Nothing But Trouble (1991) 96 On Deadly Ground (1994) 97 Kangaroo Jack (2003) 98 Batman & Robin (1997) Finished It 99 Pet Sematary II (1992) 100 Leprechaun (1993) Finished It
Which Unfortunate movies have you seen?

I must point out that I really do like several of these films because of their badness; Double Dragon is the only one on the list I think is getting the shaft, although I haven't seen it since first-run, so maybe my opinion would be different nowadays. And I just had to tweak it when I realized #13 was the original title for Puma Man, the bestest godawful ripoff of The Greatest American Hero ever seen.

Comments

[hughcasey.livejournal.com]

Does it count if you saw them on Mystery Science Theater 3000?

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

I counted those ... although I have Manos, Mitchell and several others unMSTed on DVD.

It actually was a good thing they cut the fate of John Saxon from Mitchell. It added to the dignity of the movie. Otherwise, MSTing it would've been like kicking a puppy.

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

I will hereby admit that I actually paid to see Sgt. Pepper in the theater, and may God have mercy on my soul, because that movie didn't. In my defense, I only went to see Steve Martin and Alice Cooper. :)

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Wow. I've somehow managed to avoid all but one of those (Iron Eagle II, seen on cable TV.)

[cthulhulovesme.livejournal.com]

Oh man. I've actually made it through over 40 of these. I blame my local television station's habit of playing six hour blocks of some of the worst ideas captured on film every weekend when I was a kid. Ah, memories.

...And I actually sort of like Freddy Got Fingered, in a strange and painful way.

[alymid.livejournal.com]

I am proud to say that i have only seen 3 of them and 2 of those were much much before I was age of consent. (Grease 2, and Sgt. Peppers) And I was forced to go see Grease 2 with a camp group on a rain day.

The 3rd was Batman & Robin, I got taken to that one as well as a trade off so that my partner would see some other movie they didn't want to. ;)

[drzarron.livejournal.com]

I saw that FREAKIN move FOUR, count them FOUR times in one WEEK!

In my defence, my girlfriend at the time had a HUGE crush on Barry Gibbs and I was "rewarded" for my efforts.

[ericcoleman]

EXACTLY the circumstance under which I saw it ... well ... that she wanted to ... I'm uncertain as the level of her crush on which ...

She rewarded me several times

We later split up because I couldnt stand to be with someone who said that the Bee Gee's versions of the songs were better than the originals ... a boy has got to have his standards

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I certainly did. I'd never have made it through some of 'em otherwise.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, the DOZENS of times I saw both that film and Grease in the theater were because my little sister lovedlovedloved 'em. I also had to endure the soundtrack, which had two or three nice covers and another hour and a half of absolute crap.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

You MUST see the MST3K of Manos: The Hands of Fate. Not only is it absurd beyond the telling, not only is it the funniest episode of the funniest comedy show of all time, but it will bolster your self-confidence, because you will watch this putrid piece of cinematic dog scat thinking, "I can do better than that on my worst day!"

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I've told elsewhere how Anne, Leslie and I went to see Batman Forever and loved it to death as one of the grand champion bad movies of all time, and how we went to see B&R thinking, "Please be as bad as BF, please"... and it was worse. Last time I laughed as hard at a movie in the theater was Airplane!

[cleverthylacine]

Only seen Batman and Robin--though I had part of Jim Carrey's Cat on as background noise once.

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

You overlooked "Sheena".

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088103/

A movie with an actress so bad that I was actually grateful to spend more time in the lobby getting popcorn than watching the film.

[wormquartet.livejournal.com]

FOUR!!! FOUR Police Acadamy movies made this list!! I'm so happy about this. :)

As I've said before, there's REEEEALLY something wrong with any movie series that's actually worse WITHOUT Steve Guttenburg.

-=ShoEboX=-

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I didn't pick the list. ;) Actually, I don't think Sheena would make my own list of worst films, for one reason -- it's too boring. For a film to be bad to me, it must be actively bad. (I used to say "entertainly bad", until I saw Battlefield Earth, which gave three people at our MST3K party headaches.)

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

Oh, some of these really do need to be seen unMSTed to really understand what the Brains had to go through.

What was funniest about Mitchell was that they actually double-shot it: once for the theatrical R-rated movie, once for TV. Like they thought they were making something worth watching!

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

We used to have regular Friday night bad movie night at dragonscholar's. The only movie so horrible I had to ask that it be turned off? Starship Troopers.

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

And you sat in on our MSTing of the script, didn't you? Or was that Batman Forever that we did 'live'?

[ashnistrike.livejournal.com]

I've seen 3. Manos, on MST3K. Plan 9, to MST3K ourselves. For Mac & Me, I offer no excuse except that I was 13.

Maybe They'll All Turn Into Butter

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I own umMSTied copies of Plan 9, Robot Monster, and... The Wild Wild World of Batwoman.

[hitchkitty.livejournal.com]

o/~
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do! We do!
o/~
-- Stonecutters Anthem

[kayshapero]

I'm relieved to note that I've only seen six of those things.

Rollerball (Which was silly enough to make up for the..er.. plot?)
The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie (My then 9 year old daughter's idea. She didn't think much of it either.)
Robocop 3 (I think - I know I saw several of these. Presumably on TV)
The first Pokemon Movie (My daughter went on to Pokemon after MMPR. Well.. after TMNT anyway.)
The Avengers (Stank on ice)
Super Mario Brothers (Again, silly enough to make up for its other failings.)

[dadandgirl.livejournal.com]

I've seen 70 of these. Yes, 70.

Of course, I do this on purpose...

[skipjim.livejournal.com]

I can't believe my own favorite worst movie of all time isn't on there.

The Horse Whisperer.

Can't stand a movie that tries to make me feel sorry for a woman who can't muster the courage to cheat on her loving husband...Well that and it's like 9 hours long.

[skipjim.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, and Highlander II really deserved to be much higher on that list.

Much higher.

[darthparadox.livejournal.com]

Stuff like that always reminds me of the second panel of this comic (http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php?date=2003-09-24).

Re: Maybe They'll All Turn Into Butter

[unclelumpy.livejournal.com]

Plan 9 was never MSTed

[admnaismith.livejournal.com]

What, no Meet the Feebles? That's gotta be on the bottom 20 of any list.

I was dragged to Highlander Two by some enthusiastic friends who outvoted my desire to see something else. I think they may have been seriously afraid afterwards that I was gonna paint the GoogolPlex with their blood. They were almost on their knees, begging me to understand that, no really, the first movie was good, while I had on my best Wednesday Aadams face, repeating over and over, "You owe me big time."

The Avengers remains the only movie where I can vouch for audible cries of disgust and anguish from people stampeding for the exits.

Re: Maybe They'll All Turn Into Butter

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I know. I kinda wish they had.

I also own such magnificently bad films as Incubus, King Kong Escapes, and The Conqueror. Love love love 'em.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

My own personal entry would be The Cell with Jennifer Lopez, Vince Vaughn, and Vincent D'Onofrio. Jayzus, what a mirror into the dark heart of the filmmakers. I still cannot imagine who they thought that flick was for, who their audience was.

As for me

[joshbrown.livejournal.com]

I can honestly say that I have only seen 6 of these stinkers.
As for why Batman & Robin is on the list - it is easy to see why. I mean, why name a movie after one of the characters (i.e. Batman) and then not have the title character in the movie? Does anyone remember Clooney in this? I certainly don't.

Re: Maybe They'll All Turn Into Butter

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

Plan Nine is going to be MSTed. Nelson (not sure if Murphy and Corbett are involved, too) has signed to do a commentary track for it.

I talked to Mike briefly when he was in Columbus last night for a show at Shadowbox Cabaret and asked him what's on deck, and he blew my little mind: he, Murphy and Corbett have been signed by Rhino to do at least four commentary tracks. MST lives!

Re: As for me

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Actually, I do, if only because he got the best line. The delivery on "She's trying to kill you, Dick" is amazing.

Re: Maybe They'll All Turn Into Butter

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Seriously? That would be beyond fantastic.

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

I've watched about 14 of these movies, and I must have atrocious taste because I liked over half of those at the time.
On a completely unrelated topic, I wrote a filk yesterday...

[janet-coburn.livejournal.com]

For me, the most confusing part of The Avengers was trying to figure out why K.D. Lang wanted to take over the world.

Re: Maybe They'll All Turn Into Butter

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

Hand to heart, man. Got it straight from the Nelson himself. I'd mentioned his solo work on Carnival of Souls, Night of the Living Dead and Reefer Madness and asked what was on deck next, and he mentioned the Rhino deal with his former cow-orkers.

I believe it would be fair to say that I levitated out of the building. :)

As for the Plan Nine deal -- the details are here.

[calico48103.livejournal.com]

Alice cooper was in it? Sweet, now I have to see it and fast forward until he shows up.

I am proud to say I only saw 7 on this list. And two of them I FORCED myself to see to the end just to see if I could do it (there was lots of walking away and then shouting "NO! You have to do this!! Go back!"

Plan 9 does not belong on the list... it's a cult classic.

[calico48103.livejournal.com]

No no, musn't forget, "Thud of the Beefcake", I mean "Revenge of the Titans".....

[calico48103.livejournal.com]

You scare me.

[calico48103.livejournal.com]

Saw Meet The Feebles while stoned and drunk... not a pleasant experience. It still makes me a little sick and scared to remember it...

YOU MUSN'T FORGET THE GRAND DADDY OF THEM ALL!!

[calico48103.livejournal.com]

TOXIC AVENGER!!!!!!!!!!! I broke up with a boyfriend because he wouldn't take me home until this movie was done... and it was on video... and I was trapped at 2 a.m. in another city. BARFFFF!!!!!!!

[calico48103.livejournal.com]

My husband has seen 18 of these... and is impressed he's seen so few. And BTW, he was the bastard who made me sit through "The Toxic Avenger"... I gave it to him 2 years ago for Christmas, with the codicil that it must never be played while I am in the house or on the property.

[dadandgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you! You should see the other movies we've done. Trust me, these aren't anywhere near the worst movies ever - just the worst that you've aware of. There are deep, dark recesses out there, from which no talent or quality will ever emerge.

[dadandgirl.livejournal.com]

The 'solution' to the mystery of where the missing girl is was sent me over the edge: You mean we could have avoided this entire mess by the use of five minutes of quality police investigation?!?