filkertom | Bad Sex Fantasies

So I got my Amazon referral e-mail this morning. Buncha stuff I'd likely be interested in. Mark Waid Fantastic Four collection (one I already have). The Illusionist (probably will see at some point). Adam Sandler's Click. The Lady In The Water (O M. Night, wherefore art thou?) --

Whoa.

Adam Sandler's Click!?

Look, there has always been a market for sex in SF/fantasy. Wish fulfillment, Heroines in peril, strong and gorgeous and incredibly sexually liberated women who think you're sexy for some reason, all that. But why is it so frequently not merely offensive but stupid?

I remember the ads for Click. Adam Sandler's character has a remote with power over everything. So, naturally, he uses it for things like punching his boss and hurting a child (the one playing catch with his son).

Reminded me of Bruce Almighty. Jim Carrey's character is involved with a character played by Jennifer Aniston -- a reasonably hot lady, one might happily argue -- and, given the power of God, he... gives her bigger boobs.

I can think of at least two movies (both seen on MST3K, Warrior of the Lost World and Puma Man) with the villainous Donald Pleasance getting the gorgeous heroine under mind-control, and the only thing he can think of doing with a gorgeous heroine under mind-control is ordering her to kill the hero... which might theoretically make some sense if it was a devious plot to take out the hero when he's vulnerable, rather than when Pleasance and his fully-armed minions are in the same room and the hero's already helpless.

Samantha Stevens. Pretty much unlimited power... but she doesn't want to make her husband unhappy by using it. Even for his benefit. Because he thinks it's abnormal or something. Which is why he married her. Or something.

Jeannie. The ultimate in wish fulfillment, literally: Barbara Eden in a harem costume, in love with Master and, oh yeah, she is ready and willing to do anything he wants. So he hides her and tells her to act normal. Not for a few days, while he figures things out, but for years and years.

AF709. My Living Doll. A Julie Newmar-shaped robot. Fully functional, as they say. (And Tasha Yar sure as hell knew what to do with a fully-functional robot. Data may have been the first sex toy with commendations for valor from Starfleet.) Bob Cummings is woefully underqualified at the task of teaching her to be "the perfect woman", and concentrates on her cooking and cleaning skills and manners. Sorry, but I've known a number of women who were close to perfect, and they're all incredibly smart, well-read, creative, funny, caring, and really good kissers.

Now, I do realize that all this is caught up in the repression of powerful women, or perhaps the intimation that there are no powerful women except for the ones in ludicrous fantasies where the man still believes he has some control and therefore the woman lets him have that control, not to mention the general societal taboo against, y'know, following all those hard-wired sexual impulses we've had for tens of thousands of years -- I mean, who among us, given absolute control over a Julie Newmar robot, has not thought of cooking and cleaning? -- but cah-mon. When Dana (Sigourney Weaver) asks Dr. Venkman (Bill Murray), "Do you want this body?" he very reasonably asks, "Is that a trick question?" And he doesn't just utterly take advantage of her, but he sure gets a hot kiss before he starts Doing The Right Thing.

So. What are some of your favorite examples of really dumb sexually-based escapades in SF/fantasy movies or TV? And what are some of the ones that work? (For instance, I think pretty much all the stuff they present in the movie Logan's Run makes sense, given the society they've set up. And I'm actually very fond of the scene in Hell Comes to Frogtown when Roddy Piper is embarassed, watching Sandahl Bergman attempt to court him using Standard Army Seduction Techniques. [Also, the lovemaking montage with Sandahl and Ahh-Nult in Conan the Barbarian is decently hot and really sweet.])