10,000 B.C.

[filkertom]

Devlin and Emmerich are talented visual filmmakers. They can't write or pick scriptwriters for shit, but they can make it all look great. Stargate, Independence Day, The Patriot, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow. Gorgeous movies, one thimble thick.

Their latest: 10,000 B.C. Disgust. I mean, discuss.

Comments

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

They should go back to Sci Fi rather than anything that can be documented. 10,000 is right about the last days of the saber toothed cat and the wooly mammoth. And the beginning of Agriculture.

Is the dialogue in English or in Caveman ook-ook talk?

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

And where is Ringo Starr??

[markbernstein.livejournal.com]

To heck with the theater release date. I want to know when the DVD will be available, so we can throw a MSTy party.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

I'm a serious fan of prehistoric fiction. Emphasis on the '...historic' part of that word. As soon as I saw the televised ad and it contained both a mammoth and a city in the same movie, I determined to stay far, far away from this thing.

[annearchy.livejournal.com]

Good point. No cities in 10,000 BC :P

Maybe they should have watched Quest for Fire first?

[markbernstein.livejournal.com]

Come to think of it, we'd probably be better off looking at this for two hours:

[madamruppy.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! And then Zardoz as a chaser I think.

[kilbia.livejournal.com]

So, um, who would be brave enough to screen this in comparison with the film "50,000 BC (Before Clothing)"? 'Cause, um, I have the latter on DVD. It was a double feature on the same disc as "When Women Played Ding-Dong" - purportedly a pornographic caveman retelling of Lysistrata.

...I haven't actually worked up the nerve to view either.

[seanmonster.livejournal.com]

"When Women Played Ding-Dong"

Is that anything like "Twing-Twang (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/1350-Zero-Punctuation-Heavenly-Sword-and-Other-Stuff)" (Warning, NSFW audio).

[ellyssian.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed the first three you listed - very entertaining.

I've only watched one ad for 10,000 B.C and all I could think about was how the effects looked kind of weak. I didn't bother looking deeper into it.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Oh, I own ID4, Godzilla, and The Patriot. Never got around to watching that last one, although I know I will. They're way fun to watch. But you can't think about them... but the movies themselves encourage you to think about them, and that's where it all falls apart.

[fabricdragon.livejournal.com]

i say more cheesecake shots of pseudo caveman bikini wear is always in fashion....

i dont usually even look at movies anymore.... saber tooth kitty and cities? in the same movie? really? sigh....

[madamruppy.livejournal.com]

Visually it looks pretty but I don't think I'll go see it. The crappy..er..sappy storyline and the "interpretation" of history would drive me right round the twist. I can spend my money elsewhere to much better enjoyment I think.

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

Call me old school, but that steaming pile of cinematic bilge they tried to foist off as Godzilla was an insult. It did not help that Dean Devlin repeatedly lied to both the fans and the press as to what Godzilla would do, look and act like.

That being said, it had some seriously funny moments but no way on God(zilla)'s green Earth should it have been called Godzila.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't have been at all a bad monster movie, except for the name. (Although the SFX in the dark in the rain was a definite cheat. Show the damn thing in daylight and wow us, or start over.)

[sdelmonte]

I kinda liked Stargate, but Kurt Russell and James Spader carried it. The interesting thing is that there clearly were good ideas in there, given that we got a fairly good, usually entertaining TV series out of the premise.

But this new film? I see the ads and think, "this will be the worst film of the year." Even though it's only March when it opens. Even though there have already been a good number of poorly received films (like Jumper).

Still, it can't be much worse than the Jean Auel novels, which lacked the inexplicable city but seem to be on the same level otherwise.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Stargate was an interesting case. I went to see it with huskiebear, and it wasn't bad, exactly, except... we called pretty much every single scene, like, ten minutes before it happened. Literally.

I understand that SG-1 is a way better show than the movie was a movie, but I've got too many fandoms I want to catch up on.

[hughcasey.livejournal.com]

My guess... It's probably going to be a fun popcorn movie, like STARGATE was.

It's not historic fiction... it's pulp. It looks like something Robert E. Howard could have written (if he wrote crappy screenplays).

I think that people need to step back and take a deep breath. They aren't even CLAIMING that it's fact-based! It's just good, geeky fun.

Besides, I wanna see the mammoths and smilodons in the lost city! Authenticity be damned... that's just KEWL!

It's Supposed To Be A Joke.

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

You can spend simolians in the Lost City?

[beldar.livejournal.com]

Judging by this, I guess Wikipedia is wrong about when the Pyramids were built by about 7,000 years. Go figure =)

Sad thing is, *good* filmmakers could make a compelling drama that looks more historically accurate. (Is this story about Atlantis or some other "lost" civilization? I'd have an easier time swallowing this if so.) But hey, if the public will accept that male-cow-with-udders movie last year, they'll be OK with this.

I saw all the listed films except TDAF, which never interested me. ID4 was fun, and I really liked Stargate (while acknowledging the flaws).

[devospice.livejournal.com]

Judging by this, I guess Wikipedia is wrong about when the Pyramids were built by about 7,000 years. Go figure =)

Actually that's a possibility, at least according to one guy. I can't remember his name or anything but I saw a special on one of those science channels a few years ago that focussed on this guy and his beliefs that the Sphinx is, I think he said, 12,400 years old.

He started out strong, saying that there's water damage on the sphinx, and that there hasn't been enough rain in Egypt in the past 4000 years to cause that much damage, so it has to be older than we think it is. Fine. I can go along with that.

He came up with the date, which I think was 10,400 BC, because at that time the Sphinx would have faced the constellation of Leo. That's neat, but wasn't it the Greeks who decided that grouping of stars looked like a lion? I imagine the ancient Egyptians thought it looked like something but I don't know that it was a lion.

Anyway, from there he went on to tie ALL the ancient pyramid building civilizations from around the world together to that same date through one stretch or another. If I remember correctly he finally coming to the conclusion that early man received instructions from aliens at that date on how to build pyramids.

It was a fascinating show, and I think he's on to something with the age of the Sphinx, but from there he just went down hill. :)

[wildcard9.livejournal.com]

When I first saw the trailer, I figured it had to be a time travel story since it was mixing stone-worked cities with cavemen with mammoths. Now I am fairly certain the mammoths died out long before cavemen evolved, but I will conceed that I could be wrong here. But I am positive we were long out of caves before the first city was built (at least, the first one of the architecutal quality shown in the trailer). So this has to be some kind of time travel story, most likely a city sent back into the past. I don't think an alternate history excuse can be stretched far enough for it to work with what was shown.

[armb.livejournal.com]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mammoth#Extinction
"A small population survived on St. Paul Island, Alaska, up until 6000 BCE,[2] and the small mammoths of Wrangel Island became extinct only around 2000 BCE[4]"

Maybe it could work as pulp - lost civilisations at a time we think only the cavemen were around.

[rook543.livejournal.com]

See? This is why the didn't let Hal Needham (Cannonball Run, Megaforce) direct "Quest For Fire"!

Still... I ony want to point out this. Everybody is picking apart the accuracy of the movie, but It's a Roland & Emmerich flick!

The words "From the maked of Independence Day and Stargate" should be MAJR clues that this is pure matinee fodder...not a discovery channel documentary.

As long as the effects are good, and the action non-stop, and see a guy fight a f'n SABER TOOTH TIGER ('f' yeah) then I have gotten everything I would want from this film. If you expect anything more, your just kidding yourself...

[rook543.livejournal.com]

damn typos...

[lukeski.livejournal.com]

If someone could make an edit of the movie for me with all the Mammoths, Sabre Tooth tigers, and prehistoric killer Emus, etc., but cutting out any part of the movie where you don't see the cool animals, that would be great. :)

[umbran.livejournal.com]

A bit of a rant, here - I am left wondering why the presence of mammoths and stone cities in the same work of fiction is really a big deal. Alternate history is one of the big sub-genres, folks! The, "What if...?" of speculative fiction is not limited to looking forward.

Many seem to be losing the ability to enjoy a movie for what it is. Instead, they layer on mounds and mounds of expectations that the thing has to meet before it ever hits the screen, so that we don't actually watch the film - we are too busy comparing it to preconceived notions.

[louisadkins.livejournal.com]

If we have the money, I'll probably go see it.. and keep telling myself it's an alternate earth movie.. but, then, I'm a fan for Big Cats..

[omimouse.livejournal.com]

I think I will have to turn my brain off and just enjoy the cheesecake and beefcake. I mean, the only reason I ever read even Auel's stuff was because I was 14 and the book fell open onto a sex scene . . .

And those books were more accurate in the details, even if I had to remind myself that I was reading for the smut, and that library patrons do not appreciate screeches of, "Sure, one woman figures out fire, the spear thrower, the seeds of domestication, and happens to be the bestest healer out there to boot! While we're at it, can I have a winning lottery ticket?"

Ahem. Minor history stickler over here, nothing to see, move along.

[drzarron.livejournal.com]

These two MUST be stopped. I love fun romps and love ID4 for its shear over the topness.

But they must never be allowed to do anything "HISTORICAL" ever again. "The Patriot" is such a travesty. John Wayne war pics have more to do with actual history. And I threw up a little in my mouth watching the trailer for "10,000 BC". I'll take Mark's suggestion and watch Raquel grunt in fur instead.

[jcw-da-dmg.livejournal.com]

I loved Stargate & ID4. Didn't see Patriot. Day After Tomorrow was interesting but WAY too preachy and beat-'em-over-the-head-with-the-MESSAGE!
Don't know what to make of the new one.

[arakasi1.livejournal.com]

I could live with the BEOTHWTM'ness in The Day After Tomorrow for the sake of the news clip of border jumpers heading south into Mexico. The part that almost had me yelling at the screen was the argument in the library over which books should be burned. The argument that took place in the main reading room - a room with several dozen large wooden tables and a couple of hundred wooden chairs.

[hitchkitty.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes. The Patriot. In which Mel Gibson fulfilled the prophesy of his Simpsons guest spot and...ran someone through with the flag.

[dan-ad-nauseam.livejournal.com]

That must have gone over real well with the African-American community in Boston.

[mrfnord.livejournal.com]

So... Conan the Barbarian with added mammoths?

I'm hip, let's ride.

[his-spiffyness.livejournal.com]

Well beyond not being part of the "Rolland Emmerich Hates New York" Trilogy I haven't got much to say about it.

[james-the-evil1.livejournal.com]

I wonder if the Creationists who hold it as a tenet of faith that the earth is only about 6000 years old will boycott this film as blasphemous?

[ladymer.livejournal.com]

Judging by the woman I passed by, standing in front of the poster, ranting to her friend that "Everyone knows that the Earth is only 6000 years old! The makers are LIARS!" yes, yes they will.

If I hadn't been at work at the time, I'd have been tempted to explain the distinction between a lie and fiction.

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

Um --

Was that a Veloceraptor?? (I suppose it could have been a moa.)

And where did all that cyclopean architecture come from? Or go to, for that matter?

That is to say -- what?

("Art Director Movies", I call them. The Fifth Element and Dark City qualify as well. Shimmery, beautiful surface, and not a speck of grain! Made by people who care how things look, not if they make sense or not.)

[tcgtrf.livejournal.com]

I thought 10,000BC was a Conan movie, too, when I first saw the trailers. It looks awfully pretty to me. I'll probably go and see it in the theatres just for that.

Saw Jumper last night and it was pretty good if you believe that it was the first half of a three-hour movie. It's gotta be--they introduced a new character in the last five minutes of the film without resolving any of the plot points.

By the end of March, I should be playing in Age of Conan Online. Odds are that'll give me my fill of mammoths, cyclopean pyramids full of snake gods and thick-sinewed barbarians.

Oh, on another topic, you guys who have played superhero RPGs might be interested to find that Cryptic Studios is planning on making Champions Online. (http://www.champions-online.com/devblog/2_20_08)

TC