Nothing Better To Do, Apparently

[filkertom]

Economy's going to shit, we're trapped in two wars that are destroying our military and our treasury and our reputation and our Constitution, one-sixth of the country doesn't have health care, but Cthulhu forbid someone might get sexually excited while reading:

On March 25, the American Booksellers Foundation for Free Expression (ABFFE) condemned a new Indiana law that requires mainstream bookstores to register with the government if they sell “sexually explicit materials.” “Sexually explicit” is defined so broadly that the law could apply to bookstores that sell mainstream novels and other artistic works with sexual content as well as educational books about sexuality and sexual health. H.B. 1042 was signed into law last week by Governor Mitch Daniels. “It is un-American to force booksellers to register with the government based on the kinds of books they carry,” ABFFE President Chris Finan said. “It is also unconstitutional, and we intend to do everything we can to challenge this violation of the First Amendment rights of Indiana booksellers and their customers.”

This is beyond settled. This is beyond stupid. This is, plain and simple, the goddamn useless morality police.

It's also very damn clear. No one getting hurt? Then get your fucking hands and your fucking laws off our fucking, or reading about fucking, or thinking about fucking, you fuckheads.

Christ, maybe somebody can spend some time trying to help people who got hornswoggled by the mortgage industry, or send some slightly dry and less toxic trailers down to the Katrina victims, or any fucking thing. But noooooooo. They're worried some kid might accidentally, or on purpose, pick up a book that might give him an erection or her the vapors or something.

Listen, fucktards (and this is a Democrat legislator who's behind this noise, apparently), I get more porn than I ever dreamed of, any time I want it. My terrible secret? I turned off Safe Search on Google. I read lots of things just for the tittilation. Happily. Deliberately. I've got whole folders, multiple, on my hard drive (oh! innuendo! Hard! Drive! Shocking, innit?) just for smut. I am not alone in this.

Oh, and I fucking swear a lot sometimes. Usually when I'm pissed off at sanctimonious assholes. Not that I'm naming any names, Indiana State Rep... lessee... Terry Goodin, D-Crothersville. Yeah, Rep. Goodin, how is someone reading smut affecting you, again? Oh, that's right. You're offended. Your God, perhaps, is offended. Well, I'm offended you're picking away at my privacy. Again. So piss off and let me wank in peace.

You might want to even check out one of those books.
---
Thanks to sazettel for pointing this one out.

Comments

[madfilkentist]

Beyond stupid. Beyond even morality police. It's the thought police.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Got that. The worst ones are the hypocrites who get caught doing exactly the same stuff they preach against. And it is preaching.

[sethb.livejournal.com]

Try reading the law (http://www.in.gov/legislative/bills/2008/PDF/HE/HE1042.1.pdf). The only way a book would be covered is if it has a vibrator built into the binding.

[madfilkentist]

Sec. 2. (a) As used in this chapter, "sexually explicit materials"
means a product or service:
(1) that is harmful to minors (as described in IC 35-49-2-2),
even if the product or service is not intended to be used by or
offered to a minor; or
(2) that is designed for use in, marketed primarily for, or
provides for:
(A) the stimulation of the human genital organs; or
(B) masochism or a masochistic experience, sadism or a
sadistic experience, sexual bondage, or sexual domination.

Any book which falls into the "harmful to minors" category would be covered, whether or not it has a vibrator in it. So could S&M literature, though there is more of an argument there.

[madamruppy.livejournal.com]

That is fucking ridiculous! I manage a bookstore and there is no way - none to monitor that stuff. We always do something for Banned Books week here and I try to educate my customers who ask what it is about.

Sarcasm!

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

Of course it's impossible to monitor. That's why you should only carry wholesome, Christian books.

[poltr1]

Isn't Indiana the state that tried to define pi as equal to 3?

I still believe in the words of Tom Lehrer: "When correctly viewed, everything is lewd."

[bald-ruminant.livejournal.com]

It was 3.2, actually.

[argonel.livejournal.com]

Good, someone beat me to the actual text of the law. It doesn't appear to be intended to cover books, but it's a bad law anyways. On the other hand I wonder what it takes to declare your business a non-public school.

Sarcasm.

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

Don't you know? One boner -- and the terrorist win!

Re: Sarcasm.

[mythdude.livejournal.com]

I just made Bin Laden happy...in my pants. :X

[joshuwain.livejournal.com]

Have you ever thought about taking up a collection to buy one of those fabled "islands" still for sale and starting up a country of non-idiots?

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Believe me, if I ever get nine digits in lottery winnings, that's numero uno on the list. The Beneficent Dictatorship of Smith.

[unclelumpy.livejournal.com]

Psh! Like kids read books anymore.

[timemachineyeah.livejournal.com]

It's also very damn clear. No one getting hurt? Then get your fucking hands and your fucking laws off our fucking, or reading about fucking, or thinking about fucking, you fuckheads.

I want to embroider this on a pillow.

[aiyume.livejournal.com]

If it does include any book with sexual content, adultery, fornication, rape, incest, etc., then I suggest a movement for every bookstore in the state to register the Holy Bible as their first offensive book. Preferably all on the same day.

[aylinn.livejournal.com]

*DING!*

Now THAT sounds like a winner!

hmmmm - Would one define parochial school as a masochistic exercise? or a sadistic exercise?

[ladystarblade.livejournal.com]

Wow...I'm suddenly glad I don't work in an Indiana bookstore any more. Seriously. I mean granted, we had to straighten and clean up in the "relationships" (i.e. Kama Sutra and such) section everyday from the teenagers going through looking for all the nekkid pictures, but you know, if they want to see porn, they're gonna find it. You can't stop it.

Usually I try to defend my home state, but I just can't find the stupidity in me to do so in this case.

[hitchkitty.livejournal.com]

Y'know, Tom, I recall reading somewhere that Tom Lehrer is one of your influences.

Why not take a page from his book and put together a song about, to use Lehrer's term, "smut"?

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Because he already did. :)

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

What about the legions of right-wing religious people out there who get hard (or slippery) and sweaty when they describe the Crucifixion in lip-smacking detail? (My first intro to "torture porn" was Catholic clergy.)

Once again, the Reich Wing's only definition of "morality" is about sex. Prez gets a blowjob, impeach the guy. Prez lies your kids into a charnel house, hey he goes to church.

[hitchkitty.livejournal.com]

As the Capital Steps put it:
When it comes to sex, Republicans have always had only one...position.

[jfpbookworm.livejournal.com]

I tried to give a rundown of the actual law here (http://jfpbookworm.blogspot.com/2008/04/indiana-protects-children-one-copy-of.html), because there's not a link to it from that article.

[purpleranger.livejournal.com]

Shouldn't that be "you fucking fuckheads"? :)

I'll just point out that there are sections of the Bible that could be considered "sexually explicit." All it would take is someone to go after a bookstore that sold Bibles for this law to get repealed very quickly.

[phecda.livejournal.com]

I think that's more properly, "Fuck you, you fucking fucks!" (said with either a bronx or jersey accent)

Yes, the first suit should be against a bible store for selling unexpurgated bibles. All that smiting, the song of Solomon, the dance of the seven veils, Lot getting jiggy with his daughters. I mean, it's a horribly depraved book. What sort of pervert would actually read from that in church *on Sunday!*, for fucks sake?

[wolfger.livejournal.com]

Love you, Tom

[kuremmu.livejournal.com]

We could really use a new Phil Ochs to expose these idiots and the Bushies and corporate crooks with music. Maybe such a person could energize people to actually sweep these people out of power. The right person would have to be really fast at writing lyrics to produce topical music while it was still topical, perhaps the World's Fastest ...?

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

Tom....Tom....Tom....onced again, you're blinded to the REAL issue.

This is for the children. I mean, if there's *so much* smut on the Internet and in our bookstores.....how are they going to find the quality stuff? They don't have the experience to seek out the really good stuff.

I don't want our kids looking at low-quality porn. I want them to be able to find the quality.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[your-darkness.livejournal.com]

Speaking as one who lives in Hoosierland, I am shocked and dismayed that every time I purchase a Bible, it must now be reported to the Sex Police...after all, Lot's daughters got him drunk and "had knowledge of him" (incest), not to mention all the bigamy. And don't even let me start on Song of Solomon...soft-core porn at its finest.

Must...fan...myself...

This must explain some of the problems Catholic priests are having...reading all this smut, they have to find release somewhere...unfortunately, they find it with the very kids this law is supposed to "protect."

Seriously though, what's next? Getting carded at Borders? Am I gonna have to purchase and smuggle out to my friend's 13-year-old daughter Charlaine Harris books?

I find all of this beyond disturbing and straight into asinine that our state's public servants are concerning themselves with people getting sexually excited by what they read--which is none of their business--and not with that which IS their business, such as property tax reform, education, funding our police and fire departments, etc.

Just one more thing...a woman having "the vapors" means she is flatulent. Its sorta like the old saying that horses sweat, men perspire, and women glow. Doesn't matter what you call it, though, cause if it's the former, it stinks, and if the latter, it's wet.

[bayushisan.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just, wow.

Even as a Christian I don't see this working nor do I support it. I'm smart enough to realize that the minute speech I may not be fond of is under regulation like this then my own speech is in serious jeopardy.

You can't force people to be good, the law will never change a single person. At least that's how I see it.

Let me expand a bit, if I may

[bayushisan.livejournal.com]

Looking at what I wrote first I'm not really pleased with how it sounds so please allow me to expand a bit.

I agree with you on this Tom. Whether or not I agree with any particular book being in a bookstore is irrelevant to the First Ammendment. I'm an constitutional absolutist, and while I have my own morals and beliefs about what is, and is not, proper it's not my place to try and force everyone to live by it.

The people who support these kinds of laws often don't see the forest for the trees. They're so caught up in their crusade to protect children that they don't realize that the very laws they want to use against the things they don't like can also be used, and most likely will be, against them.

My view on it is that if you don't like a store, don't shop there. There are other ways to buy books these days.

Re: Let me expand a bit, if I may

[hitchkitty.livejournal.com]

Speaking as someone who's been baptized and confirmed, and tries to live in accordance with that whole "thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" thing, thank you for helping to make people of faith look like sensible human beings.

they don't realize that the very laws they want to use against the things they don't like can also be used, and most likely will be, against them.

And as an enemy of tyranny, thank you again.

[bryanp.livejournal.com]

But ... but ... it's for the children!,

I used to joke that the difference between democrats and republicans is that democrats want the .gov out of your bedroom and in your office while republicans want them out of your office and in your bedroom. These days it's not so much a D versus R issue as it is Statists vs. Individualists.

Can't say much more than

[hiddenkrypt.livejournal.com]

Fuck Yeah Tom.