The Next Wingnut Ploy: Secession

[filkertom]

No, April Fool's Day isn't extra-long this year. It just seems that way.

Newest example: Texas -- or at least Governor Rick "Goodhair" Perry -- declares sovereignty from the U.S. (Glenn Beck thinks this is just amazingly amazing.)

I have said, even recently, that I'm good with some of these nutsos seceding, mostly the ones who apparently want to set up the Republic of Gilead from The Handmaid's Tale. Give 'em Utah, Nevada, Arizona -- let me get Mom out of there -- and then leave 'em alone. And charge some hefty multiple of the going rate for tech support.

What it comes down to, really, is that the diehards, the Old Guard of the Republican Party, the maybe one person out of four who still thinks Dick Cheney is a pretty good guy... are very bad losers. They see oppression, fascism, socialism, somekindaism everywhere they look. They're getting ready for all this teabagging tomorrow, in protest of -- what? Of the richest people in the country getting their taxes restored to near what they used to be? Is that really a cause they want to get behind? Apparently so.

Republicans used to accuse us on the Left of something called "Bush Derangement Syndrome". All of our anger at what that yutz and his team had done to our country was because we were crazy, hating A Good Man for no good reason, yadda yadda yadda.

I think Obama Derangement Syndrome is alive and well.

ETA: More analysis here. What Perry actually is (or at least thinks he is) advocating is "not secession but a non-binding resolution saying the federal government should stop what some Texas legislators believe is an unconstitutional abuse of power." I still think that, given the dictionary definition of "sovereignty", it's problematic at best. Thanks to scruffycritter for the link.

ETA2: For a desperately needed breath of fresh air, not to mention proof that there is (or at least was) sanity in Texas, here's the Molly Ivins Archive, with columns going back to the beginning of 1996.

Comments

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

*brainsplody*

I often get the feeling that they don't actually want to secede -- they want to bar the northern coastal states from any contact with Jesustopia; they want to secede us.

[mtgat]

Cool. So first, we cut off all Federal money for Texas, call in all the loans we've made to them, then declare war on them, invade, and occupy the land as a foreign power. Or nuke them, but the fallout would drift. (I think this is the contingency plan if Quebec ever secedes from Canada. We can totally modify for our own use.)

It worked out so well for the states that seceded last time.

[zibblsnrt.livejournal.com]

I think Obama Derangement Syndrome is alive and well.

Isn't it great? The 2010 and 2012 elections are going to be hilarious at this rate; I'm starting to have trouble not seeing whatever poor bastard wins the Republican nomination in '12 just descending into screamed obscenities during the debates.

[orangemike.livejournal.com]

I'd offer to pack them a nice picnic lunch and lock 'n' bar the door behind them; except that there is no McCainBushBugfuck state so lost in stupidity as not to have many thousands of good, decent people in it who don't deserve to be trapped in the Republic of Gilead.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Of course they don't, and they wouldn't be. There'd be two-way migration, as some people move in while others move out.

[unclelumpy.livejournal.com]

I have said, even recently, that I'm good with some of these nutsos seceding, mostly the ones who apparently want to set up the Republic of Gilead from The Handmaid's Tale. Give 'em Utah, Nevada, Arizona

HEY!

Unless you're ready to house a refugee, think about what you're saying, there!

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. I suspect they'd put an interior wall around Vegas, to keep all the sin (and -- d'oh! -- income) in.

[alymid.livejournal.com]

wasn't it the right that was claiming that the liberals were traitors?

I don't remember any blue states deciding not to be part of the country. Also aren't there some legal repercussions for this kind of announcement?

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

I'd be happy to see the nitwit arrested or at the very least removed from his post as governor. Unfortunately, that would only make him a martyr in the eyes of morons who believe the way he does, like Chuck "Jesus hates Liberals" Norris.

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

Oh, my good freaking gods. I have never been so ashamed to call myself a Texan in all my life.

[fair-witness.livejournal.com]

Right there with you.

[misterseth.livejournal.com]

They can all go teabag themselves

[delazan.livejournal.com]

They can have Florida, too, along with my sister.
-L.

[dan-ad-nauseam.livejournal.com]

Dear Governor:

May I suggest a visit to Grips Ya Us?

[bschilli.livejournal.com]

I think Texas has some odd rights based on its entry into the US as an independent republic. If those include the right to leave, I suggest they avoid the door on your way out. Sixty per cent of 98 is 58.8 rounded up to 59. That becomes the magic number for the US Senate.

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

I remember something along those lines as well... and also the right to split up into five different states?

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

Allow me to posit advocatus diaboli for a bit.

If by some stretch of the imagination he actually gets away with it? It would be a good and happy thing. One - it deports Dubya by default, which is what I wanted in the first place. Two - it will more than likely have the effect of concentrating the wingnuts all in one place, and getting them out of our hair. Three - it will encourage more such efforts on both sides of the aisle - there are even crazier wingnuts in Idaho; and then there's the Cascadia movement. The Balkanization of this place would have the effect of taking down FedGov when it needs taking down....

OTOH, if he *fails*.... the destruction of the neo-GOP will be complete and utter, and will leave room for a decent new Loyal Opposition, which we need desperately.

Point of order. The true Old Guard of the GOP are NOT the ones defending Cheyney. Not post-election, anyway; I just talked to my old da, the yellow-dog Republican, last night, and he's not talking Pax Americana anymore... no, these idiots that want to spend us into oblivion trying to commit empire are definitely neo-GOP in nature. Anything Newt/1994 or after belongs in that camp.

[admnaismith.livejournal.com]

They can't have Nevada. Vegas is too wholesome for the likes of them. Besides, Obama won it.

Let them have Utah, Idaho and Wyoming in the west, and most of the Confederate states (we keep Virginia, North Carolina and all of Florida except the panhandle; they can have Kentucky and Oklahoma)

[baphnedia.livejournal.com]

So. I haven't been able to find anything else on this in mainstream media... how solid are the Daily Kos for this sort of stuff? When looking at the speech transcript, while it is threatening, it isn't 'suck it, Washington', and he fails to actually state the magic words: "We secede from your crappy union," or "We Divorce You," or whatever.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

No idea why. Here's the official press release from the Governor's office (http://governor.state.tx.us/news/press-release/12227/).

I beg to differ.

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

This isn't about "secession" at all; it's about his personal determination to reject Texas' share of the stimulus funding. Some of which would take money out of the pockets of his personal buddies by being directed toward things we need instead of the boondoggles they want to build. Toll roads enrich the People Who Matter; high-speed light rail (which would actually WORK) doesn't. Everything he says in that video makes much more sense in that context than it does as a declaration of secession.

As I keep saying, I'm not a damnTexan, this is just where I live.

[palenoue.livejournal.com]

I've been busy reminding these people that the "oppressive government" they're railing against is the one _they_ created! They spent the last eight years building the very thing they want to rebel against, and that can't be good for mental health. I'm just waiting for someone to put together a series of clips showing these people first demanding the Dept of Homeland Security have unrestricted abilities to spy on american citizens, followed by clips of them wailing and moaning about how the Dept of Homeland Security has the ability to spy on american citizens. Does the Daily Show take requests?

Also, here's a good article on the subject: http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2009/04/14/surveillance/

[raven-ap-morgan.livejournal.com]

I have a question...

Does this governor's statement really constitute anything that resembles secession, or is he saying that Texas state law supersedes Federal law in principle, or is he just blowing off steam (with perhaps some indication that he doesn't intend to participate in some federal programs)?

And what's really enforceable, from a legal point of view? I would assume, for example, that secession would require a more formal action than a press conference by the governor, like a resolution by the legislature.

Inquiring minds want to know...

Raven

[aulayan.livejournal.com]

Well he is trying to get the Texas Legislature to pass a law that seems to regulate the *federal* government

But no. This isn't Secession. It's about the dead-for-the-past-seven-decades 10th amendment.

[zellion.livejournal.com]

I'm the first to admit I've read too much sci-fi, and have thus read a dozen or more stories that detail the descent of America into distopia or post-apocalyptic distopia. And having been raised conservative Christian we were taught in Sunday School to always look for the signs of the end times, so as to be prepared for the Second Coming, so I've read and thought of quite a few scenarios that involve an evil or crazy person being elected president and the country being destroyed.

I never in my wildest dreams considered that a viable scenario was a *good* man getting elected president, which would then cause the right wing to go completely apeshit and thereby bring about the destruction of the world etc. Holy shit.

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

Not so sure about the "good man" bit.

Not when Obama opposes punishing torturers, upholds the right of the President to order warrantless wiretaps (and moves to block lawsuits to stop such wiretaps), maintains the right to hold people indefinitely without writ of habeas corpus at Bagram, and leaves a loophole open to allow torture of prisoners "in extreme cases of urgent need."

Hell, he even opposes a Truth Commission with blanket immunity for all in exchange for true testimony on what actually happened.

Of course, the teabaggers don't care about any of that- all they care about is cutting taxes and taking down the national safety net.

[awfulhorrid.livejournal.com]

I love this part:

... the federal government has become oppressive. ... its intrusion in the lives of its citizens ...

Ok, I'll admit that my data my not be quite up to date, but isn't it still illegal to have more than three 'marital aids' in Texas?

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

It's five dildoes, but yeah.

(And, ironically, it's perfectly legal to sell the objects provided you don't sell them as devices for sexual stimulation. In other words, so long as you don't tell people what they're for, you have a valid defense...)

[madrona.livejournal.com]

They can't have Arizona. I know too many awesome free spirits from there, and we've got to have somewhere to look at the stars.

I'm delighted that the Republicans are exploding with ridiculousness, having been levered from power.

[saganth.livejournal.com]

ACK! I just red what I typed in my previous entry. My fingers were going faster than my brain again. What I meant to say was that I am NOT a big fan of the world's oldest profession, but that there are worse things in the world. I may not support the idea of it in general, but I don't think it should be illegal or immoral - I think it should be legal, regulated, taxed, and monitored by the health department, and the prostitutes should have definite medical benefits.

Anyone here ever read Spider Robinson's "Callahan's Lady" and "Lady Slings the Booze"?

[johnpatrickmcp.livejournal.com]

Holy Crap I just watched the Handmaidens Tale yesterday on a recommendation from one of my wife's coworkers. Let them secede, but we get to keep Robert Duval!

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

When I was younger, during the era of Clinton, I advocated secession- mainly for the purpose of eliminating a redundant and inefficient layer of government and thus making it cheaper and more efficient.

I drifted away from that position for the following reasons:

(1) I got a good look at the other people in the secession movement, who were either anarchist nuts, con artists, or both, Lance McLaren being a prominent example. There was another group, "Texas Constitution 2000", who claimed that secession would take effect when two-thirds of Texas counties, in unelected convention, voted to adopt the new "national constitution." I did the math and realized that, if you take away the top one-third most populous counties, you're left with only 4% of the state's total population... and in their test-case convention, they pulled only 16 participants in a county with 9,000 citizens. NUTS.

(2) Let's just say that the US government gives Texas permission to secede. (That's the only way it works; if Texas tries to go it alone, the US will send in troops. It has to- otherwise the US unravels. Lincoln was right.) Who would create the new nation? Not people like me. Not people like the nuts and anarchists in the libertarian movement. No, corrupt, bigoted, and above all wealthy and privileged people like George W. "Family History of Incompetence" Bush, Rick "All Restaurants are Taco Bell All Roads Will Be Toll Roads" Perry, and Tom "I Broke the Law in Jesus' Name and I'm Proud of It" DeLay.

And finally: (3) Take away the federal government, and you take away the only effective defense for the rights of the minority there is. Look at the press release from the governor's office- link here to remind you. Rick Perry wants Texas to claim all powers not granted the feds, under the 10th Amendment. BUT... the 10th Amendment says that all powers not granted to the federal government belong with the states... or the people. Rick Perry doesn't believe that last bit- he believes that the people ONLY have those rights granted by the state... which can revoke them at any time. Only the federal government- when it feels like it- defends us from state-mandated religions, government-backed racial, gender and sexual discrimination, cruel and unusual punishments, etc.

Rick Perry isn't actually talking secession... YET. With Hannity and Beck talking up the options of either secession or nationwide revolt against the current government, though, it might be only a matter of time.

If it comes, I might be looking to relocate in a very big hurry indeed.

[skemono.livejournal.com]

Take away the federal government, and you take away the only effective defense for the rights of the minority there is.

Yah. The language used here reminds me a lot of the language people were using when protesting Brown v. Board. "They're interfering with state politics!" "They don't care about the constitution!" "They're evil and bloated and corrupted!"

Feh.

[mythdude.livejournal.com]

Oh, you would not want to see Texas and the lower western states form their own country. From the resources their states have and the access to military hardware kept in storage there, the only thing holding them back from being a strong nation is a lack of manpower when compared to the more prosperous western states.

I'm not saying we couldn't take them in a fight, but would you really want these fundamentalist "end of the world" nuts to have access to WMDs?