'Cause It's Easier To Make Women Know Their Place Than It Is To Stop Assholes From Raping Women

[filkertom]

Originally posted by valkyrwench at **headdesk**
Originally posted by _samalander at post

TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE & RAPE CULTURE

Lara Logan, the CBS reporter who was separated from her crew while covering the revolution in Egypt and brutally raped by a mob of men is apparently to blame for her abuse because she once had cleavage. Right here, in black and white, Dan Rottenburg says that women who don't want to be raped should stop going outside and wear turtlenecks.

Sign the petition to have Rottenburg removed as editor. Stay away from the comments: he refers to this as "avant guarde" journalism (I WAS JOKING!!!) and accuses the people who are angry of making mountains out of molehills and stopping conversation.

Comments

[bayushisan.livejournal.com]

*sigh* I wish I could say that this suprises me, but it really doesn't. Nothing terrible surprises me anymore.

[unclelumpy.livejournal.com]

And you thought your boss was a dick.

[cathain.livejournal.com]

It's a locked entry and I can't see it.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

You don't need the LJ post -- what I have basically copies it. If you can see this, you can follow the links to both the original post on Broad Street Review and the change.org petition.

[darthparadox.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the only problem is that on our flists, the crossposted bit looks like a normal lj-cut link that actually leads to a locked journal entry.

[cathain.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I figured it out.

[ashkitty.livejournal.com]

It makes me just as angry as when I saw it this morning.

[judifilksign.livejournal.com]

Articles like these provide a key service: they warn many of us across the world that blaming the victim is more mainstream than liberals would like to think.

I find it sad that his response to the woman attacked in his own neighborhood was contempt that she wanted to change the world's attitudes, and that her behaviors were why she was attacked.

Yet that very response, coming from this editor, shows that there is a culture out that that seriously just does not "get" it. This tends to come as a surprise to many. Thank you for spreading the awareness, so that we can combat such attitudes with a bit more support for the women, and more condemnation for the "status quo" minimization of rape culture (men are uncontrolled brutes, so it is the victim's responsibility to watch out.)

[alverant.livejournal.com]

It was a locked entry and when I tried to do the signal boost, it wasn't working (or working the way I thought it would work). Well it's not like I have a lot of readers on my LJ anyway.

I did sign the petition though.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

You don't need the LJ post -- what I have basically copies it. If you can see this, you can follow the links to both the original post on Broad Street Review and the change.org petition. Which you did. :)

[ladypoetess.livejournal.com]

I think what people are saying is that when we click your cut tag, we don't get this page, we get the locked entry. To get this page, I had to either click on the comments link or the title of the entry. ^^

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Ah. Didn't realize that. I'll fix it.

[ladypoetess.livejournal.com]

No problem! I'm sure we've all borked our HTML at some time or another - some of us *coughmecough* more often than others. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_samalander/]

Thank you for the signal boost!

[jenrose]

Sigh.

[randwolf.livejournal.com]

oh, for heaven's sake. Rape is an opportunistic crime of violence. What attracts rapists is a poorly defended victim.

Grrrr.

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Men really have no idea just how many women quietly, secretly hate them - precisely for ongoing shit like this.

It's not the "just one solitary crazy guy" rapist who's the fucking problem here - it's his 100,000 dudebro supporters, apologists, attorneys, jurors, judges, cops, fratboys, legislators and peers who back him up, get him out of jail, talk the woman out of pressing charges, rewrite the laws, send women hate mail and more rape threats for pressing charges, threaten a teenage girl with rape for the crime of speaking her political mind, threaten online geeks with rape for the crime of being female and having opinions - and the minute women try to get 1/10 of 1/10 of 1% of fucking JUSTICE every neckbeard in creation bawws the magic word "Duuuuuke! Duuuuke!" which is dog-whistle dicktalk for All Bitches Lie About Rape.

....Yeah. I'm just a little angry about this.

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Because this is a more sane and moderate response than my own roar of rage right now, here, reprinted is the "Foolproof Ways To Prevent Sexual Assault":

***

Tired of the same old tips about wearing longer skirts and always keeping an eye on your drink? Wish there was something that actually worked? Wonder no more! Here are two lists of fool-proof ways sexual assault can be prevented.

If a woman is drunk, don’t rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don’t rape her.
If a women is drugged and unconscious, don’t rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don’t rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don’t rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you’re still hung up on, don’t rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don’t rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don’t rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don’t rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don’t rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don’t rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don’t rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don’t rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don’t rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don’t rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don’t rape her.
If your friend thinks it’s okay to rape someone, tell him it’s not, and that he’s not your friend.
If your “friend” tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there’s an unconscious woman upstairs and it’s your turn, don’t rape her, call the police and tell the guy he’s a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it’s not okay to rape someone.
Don’t tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don’t imply that she could have avoided it if she’d only done/not done x.
Don’t imply that it’s in any way her fault.
Don’t let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he “got some” with the drunk girl.
Don’t perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

[kengr]

Yep.

Where a lot of folks get into trouble is when they make statements about precautions (ones which in an ideal world wouldn't be necessary).

Those are way too easy to take as assigning fault to the victim for not taking the precautions. And, alas, in far too many cases that *is* how too many people mean them.

But being careful how you flash money around (for anybody), how "sexily" you dress (for female appearing people) and how eell you "pass" (for trans folks like me) are all sad realities.

Dammit, we *shouldn't* have to woory about that stuff. But until we can get the predators dealt with, we do have to worry about them.

And that means folks will complain that it was "our own fault" when we get attacked.

It's not. It's 100% the fault of the attackers. They didn't *have* to attack. They *chose* to.

Even if we did something that attracts their attention, that doesn't make it our fault.

It's *safer* to hide and not stand out. But it's not much of a life having to do that all the time.

[alverant.livejournal.com]

I would agree. It's not just about the crime of rape, but any crime. If you park your car in the "wrong" neighborhood it may very well get stolen. It's your right to buy whatever car you can afford and park it in a legal spot, but some activities will put you more at risk of being the victim of a crime. And if you do something that does "invite" crime you will be blamed for being partially responsible.

It's not right, but it is reality.

Note, I'm not trying to in any way lessen the severity or trauma of rape. I am trying to point out that blaming the victim is not unique to rape. Take fraud for example. No one wants to admit they were tricked so being conned is under reported, especially by the elderly who believe they should "know better". Victims find themselves being blamed for not recognizing a con for being a con or doing something "stupid" like believing someone in Nigeria really does need you to help move millions of dollars out of the country.

As much as I support the idea that people should have the freedom to do what they want (provided they don't hurt others), the reality is people should also take precautions to avoid being victims. That does not mean if they don't take those precautions they're at fault or are somehow responsible for what happens. To draw a metaphor with driving, defensive driving is usually safer.

[kengr]

It occurs to me that a possibly better analogy is bullying in school.

Yes, you can avoid it (to some extent) by "conforming". But failure to "conform" does *not* make the bullying your fault, no matter how much some scholl administrators (and parents of bullies) may wish it did.

*Actually* getting in someone's face about your difference is the only time it may be your fault.

But far too often, you are just trying to live your life and *they* consider your very *existence* (as a person not living the way they think you should) as being "in their face".

[jannyblue.livejournal.com]

Most bullies have the end goal of making their victims kill themselves. It's the ultimate bully "win".

Mine allegedly had a betting pool for when and how I'd do it... And they wonder why I refuse to go to the reunions or friend them on FB...

[alverant.livejournal.com]

I hear what you're saying and you have some good points. However I like using fraud because it's a crime that mostly affects adults and when the victim of a crime is blamed, it's adults doing it. The victims of bullying are mostly children and we can hope the bullies grow out of it. Rapists don't grow out of it. Also bullies pick the same victim again and again, it's not a one-time thing like a con artist.

[holzman.livejournal.com]

I don't think the fraud analogy works. Unlike rape or bullying, people may blame themselves for being defrauded, but there isn't a whole society blaming people for being defrauded, and the only people who say people who can be defrauded actually deserve it are con artists themselves.

[alverant.livejournal.com]

I disagree. When people are defrauded there are people blaming the victims saying that if they "did their homework" or other such phrases then this wouldn't have happened. Look at the mortgage crisis and how people "should have known" that it was too good to be true.

[holzman.livejournal.com]

Comparing it to bullying works in alot of ways.

One of which is that no matter how much one tries to conform, there's no conformance that will make one safe from bullying.

[invader-tak-1.livejournal.com]

I managed it. I conformed so thoroughly that I destroyed my personality, and got to "join" the bullies. In fact in the end I was bullying my former bullies. I was "safe", and yes, the bullying stopped. But the cost was "just" my life and anything that gave it value.

I then spent 25 years in exactly the conformity the bullies wanted before I realized I didn't have to play the game anymore. I"m still in therapy over it. Probably always will be.

[fmh.livejournal.com]

Signed.

[debber5.livejournal.com]

More common than anyone realizes. I was approached by an ex boyfriend who repeatedly asked me to F*** him because his wife wasn't making love to him, he didn't have the money to pay a prostitute and if I said no, he would F*** me anyway. He was told no several times and he now knows that he will be reported to the authotities if he continues this behavior. (Yes, I do have several people, including his wife, who will back up my statements.)
I assume that any man who says that his wife or companion says it's ok for him to have sex with me is lying. In my experience, 10 of 11 men who say that are. Even if I was ok with having affairs, 10 of the 11 wives and companions told me she did not want him to have an affair even though all 11 of the men said it was ok with his wife for him to have an affair. I'm not going into their reasons because I don't even want to go there.
I dress conservatively. I don't act provocatively. And it definitely makes me nervous around men, even though these 11 men are in the minority.