A Small Story Of Good News

In 2007, Austin Whitney did something dumb. He was drinking and driving. And he got into a car accident, and his spinal cord was severed, paralyzing him below the waist.

He stayed in school (history and political science), and now gives motivational talks about drinking and driving. And you'd think that the best you could hope for was the ol' Indomitable Spirit Doesn't Keep Him From Graduating story. Nope. Not this time.

Because this time, he had a professor and a team of graduate students working on a lower-limb exoskeleton for him.

And, at his graduation last week, Austin Whitney walked up to get his diploma.

I'm already bionic -- enhanced vision, both distance and close-up; dental implants; external support for balance; and night-breathing apparatus. I wish I had the bionic legs that let you run 60 mph, but Amazon never says they're in stock. What have you got, and what would you like, if you could get Steve Austin-ish bionics?

Judgment Day's A-Comin'

Supposedly, this Saturday is the Rapture.

The Righteous -- approximately 3% of the world's population -- will be swept up into Heaven. The rest of humanity will suffer through five months of really severe weather before God destroys the universe on October 21.

The first question, of course, is are you ready?

Rapture fans, Are You RRRRRRRRRRRRReady???

The second question is troubling to agnostics and atheists such as myself. What if it actually happens?

What if Harold Camping got the date right, but the faith wrong? What if the Muslims are taken to Heaven, or the Buddhists, or Hamas, or whatever's left of the Manson Family, or Al-Qaida, or the Southern Baptists, or the Pagani, or the atheists!?!?!? (That last one presumes that life is a test of reasoning through evidence.)

Most important of all: What are your plans for Sunday?