Billboards That Blew My Mind Today

[filkertom]

"THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY"

"Pray for a cure for cancer - prayforacureforcancer.com"

One of those inspirational ones -- "A setback didn't set them back." Uh, yes, it did. Otherwise, it wasn't a setback, it was holding their position.

"WARNING: JESUS IS COMING BACK"

And, a truck that said it came from Humble, Texas. I didn't know there was any Humble in Texas.

Anything interesting out your way? I love the billboard in northern Florida advertising Bronner's Christmas Store in Frankenmuth, MI. Just stay on I-75 for 1,400 miles and turn right....

Comments

[ororo]

In Georgia, I remember seeing, "Don't Make Me Come Down There---God"

A friend of mine wants to buy one that reads, "Kneel Before Me, son of Jor-El---Zod"

[snobahr.livejournal.com]

There's a billboard on the street I exit the 210 (in Pasadena, CA) from on the way home from gaming night, and it says Jesus Is Coming Soon To Judge The World

It's been nailed a few times with yellow paintballs. And at least one red paintball.

Go paintballers!

[admnaismith.livejournal.com]

How about one that says, IN CASE OF RAPTURE, THE GOVERNMENT GETS ALL YOUR STUFF? That ought to confuse our enemies...

[robin-june.livejournal.com]

the billboard in northern Florida advertising Bronner's Christmas Store in Frankenmuth, MI. Just stay on I-75 for 1,400 miles and turn right....

I repeated this to the Spousal Unit (who grew up in Bronner's neck of the woods), and he said,

"Oddly enough, people do it."

[mythdude.livejournal.com]

HEY! We need that last sign out there. Otherwise people wouldn't notice Jesus when he wandered onto the interstate late at night!

[hiddenriver.livejournal.com]

I thought it was warning right-wing, "Christian" zealots to start being nice to any long-haired hippy weirdos they see - just in case. You know, at least until he's gone again...

[fair-witness.livejournal.com]

And, a truck that said it came from Humble, Texas. I didn't know there was any Humble in Texas.

Yep. The town's name is pronounced "Umble," and until I saw it spelled out, I had no idea there was an H in it.

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

And it's not far from Houston, and is where the Houston Gem & Mineral Society holds their big annual show.

I know that this is off topic, but ...

[capplor.livejournal.com]

Aye! matey. The word is out that Saturday be talk like a Pi-rate day. I'm in need o' some links to yer chanties on that. Under which sea chest did ye leave 'em?

Re: I know that this is off topic, but ...

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

ARRR! I'se gonna link up tamarrah, but ye can find a few at me Free Stuff (http://www.tomsmithonline.com/freestuff.htm) page.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

We have a bunch of billboards that have "WHY ISLAM?" is big letters and a number and website for a free Qaran. Meanwhile, just over the hill in San Joaquin County, I see endless billboards from the JesusisLord.com folks, and one odd one that seems to be from young-eath creationists.

I just want to know how many miles it is to Wall Drug (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wall_Drug)

[shadowofsummer.livejournal.com]

The first time I heard about Wall Drug was when the then-girlfriend and I were drinking in a bar in Paris, and I pointed out a sign indicating that we were 4,278 miles from something called 'Wall Drug'. Without missing a beat, my girlfriend not only explained what Wall Drug was, but also gave me the entire story of the time she was driving from NJ to Spokane and stopped in Wall Drug, amid the dinosaurs and detritus of Americana.

[bayushisan.livejournal.com]

I have to preface this with saying that what I'm about to say is not me joking around. This is a real sign I've seen three years straight driving to Rolla, Mo.

There's a series of signs on 75 going towards Missouri for an RV salesman named, and I kid you not, Tom Raper. The first of these signs says, and again I kid you not, "You are now entering Raper country."

*hides*

[birder2.livejournal.com]

Gee, he's in Missouri, too? There have been billboards for Tom Raper's business in Ohio for years--see them en route to OVFF every year.

[darthparadox.livejournal.com]

Stupid billboards

Blow your mind

Make you wish

For simpler times

BURMA SHAVE

[bayushisan.livejournal.com]

We used to see a set of Burma Shave signs when we'd go to Tennessee to visit relatives. Always did like those.

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

One I spotted in San Antonio on the way back from Phoenix:

"WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?"

Let 'em waste their money, sez I.

[shadowofsummer.livejournal.com]

I want to pay to have the next billboard after that one read 'WHERE DID I LEAVE MY KEYS?'

[shadowofsummer.livejournal.com]

On the drive through Mennonite country to see the wife's extended family, we passed a bunch of little hand-made signs with Bible verses painted on them, followed by the entire side of a barn taken up with six-foot high letters reading 'AT THE END OF THE ROAD YOU WILL MEET GOD.'

If I'd had some spray paint with me, I'd have had her pull over so I could add a 'ZILLA' to the end of that. I would probably have got killed by the barn's owner, but I think it would be worth it, if only for the FARK writeup.

[ravenclaw-eric.livejournal.com]

I've thought that Burma Shave signs for today would be really cool:

"Our sales campaign

Was not a flop

Until we met with

ZZ Topp.

BURMA SHAVE."

[biomekanic.livejournal.com]

There used to be one... I think it's on I-5 in WA headed towards Seattle with "JESUS HATES FAGS!" on some guys property.

I remember a whole series of billboards from when I was a kid and we were driving in Colorado, on...I-25 I think. On our way north from Colorado Springs. Just miles of some guys fight with the Federal government who claimed his land for emimant domain purposes.

[silentpheonix.livejournal.com]

A few days ago, I passed a truck that had a homemade "Obama is America's Hitler" bumper sticker on it and another one that had the word "HETEROPHOBIC" on it in big letters surrounded by other words with smaller letters.

I have no idea what they were trying to say about being afraid of things that are different from each other but now I kind of wish I had taken the time to find out.

[cathain.livejournal.com]

One of your billboards made me think of one of my all time favorite bumper stickers. "Jesus is coming! And boy is she pissed!"

[shaharazad.livejournal.com]

Along the lines of Humble, Texas, I was amused to discover there is a Liberal, Kansas.

PA has them all beat

[capplor.livejournal.com]

With towns named Moon, Mars, Intercourse, and 84.

[awfulhorrid.livejournal.com]

I'm in South Dakota this week helping one of my sweeties with some things around her mother's house. There are several signs in Sioux Falls with "Teach your children that virginity is not a dirty word."

Now I actually have to agree with that, but I also feel that you should teach them that responsible and informed choice isn't a dirty phrase either. (Nor is 'birth control' nor 'masturbation,' etc.)

[kayshapero]

I'd kinda like to know what this is about. I passed it on Route 60 coming back from Arizona (fabula_umbrae took the picture - I was driving) and I'm pretty sure there was a building of some sort down by the road, but I was too distracted to look at it.

[jenrose]

Nothing brilliant at the moment, but I did see a truck with the license plate "K4 TWUK"

Still scratching my head over that one.

[wyldemusick.livejournal.com]

Tucson has the Truly Nolen mousemobiles -- the company cars are shiny recent VWs, but the advertising vehicles are all vintage, and scattered all over Tucson. It's really only the more recent ones that sport the ears and tail, but they're all known as Mousecars anyway.

[warinbear.livejournal.com]

I didn't know there was any Humble in Texas.

<adopts Native Texun accent>

Whai, a'co-urse thayer's Humble in Tek-zis! We got us mo-ar Humble in Tek-zis th'n ehhh-nee-whayer else in th' world -- an' ayer Humble's bigger th'n thayer's too!

. . . okay, I'm done now.

[stevemb.livejournal.com]

Is it wrong that I'm hearing this in Boomhauer's voice from King of the Hill?

[jjfmi.livejournal.com]

Frankenmuth and its businesses were known for putting their ads up in strange places. I don't know if they're still up, but they had at least one up by the Brighton area on I-96 - for viewing by WESTbound traffic. (This one should have read something like "NOOOOO!!!! You're going the wrong way.....!")

[scrummycat.livejournal.com]

Yep, still there!

[elektra-h.livejournal.com]

If you ever, ever, ever get stuck in Humble and need medical attention, run (don't walk) to St. Luke's in Houston. I spent months in North East Medical Center, Humble, TX during one week about 5 years ago . . .

[kendokamel.livejournal.com]

In Martinsville (a rather infamous "country" town in between Bloomington and Indianapolis... famous in decades past for being the home of the Grand Dragon of the KKK...), there were these two billboards a few years ago that said something to the effect of, "Jesus is coming," and "I have proof."

Well, one year a huge tornado tore through Martinsville, and crossed the highway right around there. We all kept expecting to see a third billboard go up that said, "Toldjaso."

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Or "200 proof. Turn left for Al's Moonshine."

[archiver-tim.livejournal.com]

A few years ago, oh, ohay, 35 years ago, on I-75 near Dayton, Ohio, the highway signs tried to introduce the metric system by having both on the distance signs, led by a sign that said 'Metric signs next 100 miles'.