filkertom | Bad Writing Friday

Jesse at Pandagon.net aims us to the the fiction archives of Nickolaus A. Pacone, a magnificently entertainly bad writer of Lovecraftian pastiche:

I live in the ghetto -- the police are too afraid to approach this part of Chicago. Perhaps one only knows that this neighborhood has a gang problem -- they cannot fathom the fact two gang members were murdered by something that is beyond their power. Nothing really scares the children around here because their older brothers join the street gangs and have no understanding of the supernatural. Tonight I was with my friends at a party when one of them tapped into something evil --they called the spirit of John Wayne Gacy.
No one knew the reason why they did or what they did -- Justin was high on marijuana when he found this Ouija board. Jean and I warned him not to play with the board while he was high -- He just flipped me off and continued to hold the seance. What he did not realize that the board revealed a name of a spirit -- of a notorious serial killer. The board continued to reveal the unwritten message; it explained REDRUM NI EVIL. The crucifix in the bedroom caught on fire -- the unholy flame did not burn the wall where the cross was hanging. This unholy evil that lurked around in the apartment and got inside a Latin King --he began to breathe very heavily and bleed from his eyes. His friends were looking on in fear -- for they didn't understand what was happening.

-- from "The Unwritten Relic"

Which of course immediately brought to mind The Eye of Argon and The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

I would link up to Mystery Usenet Theater, but it appears that Web Site Number 9 has been "temporarily offline" since November. Drat.