Same-Sex Marriage Ban Crashes And Burns

[filkertom]

They couldn't even break the filibuster.

See, the Dems had a filibuster going against the Senate floor vote on the notion to attempt amending the Constitution to ban same-sex marriages. They needed 60 votes to break the filibuster. They needed 67 to actually pass the thing.

They got 48.

Frist, Santorum, our new hero of box-turtle love John Cornyn, and the rest of the Repubs can choke on their own bigoted bile.

Lyrics for it:

RICKY JOHN PORN
Words Copyright 2004 by Tom Smith
Music: "Jimmy Crack Corn" (Amer. Trad.)


When I was young I used to wait
On master while he'd master himself,
Pass him the bottle of ol' K-Y,
And brush the lipstick off his fly.

(Chorus)
Ricky Santorum, I don't care,
Mister John Cornyn, I don't care,
Gimme my porn, and I don't care,
Hey, assholes, go away.

When he would rant on the Senate floor,
I'd follow him with a rented whore
Of cameras he was rather shy,
Being bitten by hypocri-sigh.

(Chorus)

One day he said, "They'll cause us harm,
Gays so numerous that they do swarm,"
One chanced to bite him on the thigh,
Now doggie style is all he'll try.

(Chorus)

Well, my other master said you should
Not marry turtles, that ain't good,
He said it out loud, and we wondered why,
The verdict was Wild Turkee Rye.

(Chorus)

Now Rick and John lie every day,
Afraid of marriage if it's gay,
This Senate beastiali-tye...
Wouldn't last ten minutes on "Queer Eye".

(chorus)

Comments

[shsilver.livejournal.com]

Will this show up on the new album or as a mp3 on the website?

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I've been doing several little quick political ditties lately, and I think I'll slap 'em into a cheap .zip file in the next week or two. Recording them is actually a good mental break from the hard work of recording the "real" album.

[ororo.livejournal.com]

and there is much rejoicing. I especially like the "Queer Eye" reference. :)

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It was fun, and there are more to come.

[sdelmonte]

Oh, great. I know that was not your intent, but now I have "Happy Together" by the Turtles in my mind.

McCain's remarks are, as usual, interesting. Even when I disagree with him - he's still not a friend of equal marriage rights - he comes across as a man who has integrity and intelligence and a sense of perspective.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

McCain may not always be on the same page as us, but damn the man at least can read the frickin' book.

And... in the "Funniest Thread Ever" on Atrios last night (the one labeled "Open Thread: John Cornyn Porn Edition"), someone posted the lyrics to "Happy Together" in total, along with "I've Got You Under My Shell", a poem by Jon Ciardi, innumerable puns and links to turtle pictures, and this wonderful bit by "John Gillnitz":

Bum








Chunka-Bum








Bum




Bum

Turtle porn music.

Nitpicking again

[janet-coburn.livejournal.com]

Wild Turkey is actually bourbon whiskey, not rye whiskey. Trust me on this.

Re: Nitpicking again

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I do, but... here's where I got it (http://www.mindspring.com/~mccarthys/whiskey/rye.htm).

Re: Nitpicking again

[janet-coburn.livejournal.com]

After some research, I found that Wild Turkey (as distributed by Pernod-Richards, a French company, which is where the link you sent me sent me) does list rye as one of the varieties of booze in the Wild Turkey family. And I know that it's appropriate to the song. But I assure you that if you walk into any bar in the US and ask for Wild Turkey (unlikely as that scenario is), they will serve you bourbon. Here is the link to Wild Turkey's own website, where I found no mention of rye products, BTW:
www.wildturkeybourbon.com
You have to enter your age to prove you are old enough to read about whiskey, which is weird enough, without the whole French connection thing.
Cheers! I'm off to do more research. I will make this terrible sacrifice only for you, my dear.

Re: Nitpicking again

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

No problemo. The biggest reason I used it was of course the whole "preznit give me turkee" thing, very big on Atrios after last Thanksgiving's pathetic photo-op.

[(Anonymous)]

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?"

"I think so, Brain, but...if Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?"

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

"If I could reach you, I would hurt you."

Or, From Futurama (Just to Prove I'm Still a Geek)

[janet-coburn.livejournal.com]

Bender:
Jimmy Crack corn and I don't care
Jimmy Crack Corn, still don't care
Jimmy Crack Corn, nobody cares
Take that, you old Crack Corn!

It's All Geek To Me

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Domo arigato, Bender Roboto....

(from Luke Ski)

48

[nezmaster.livejournal.com]

Oh gee they only got 48 out of the 70 something they needed to pass. 48. 48 bigoted egotistical insane people willing to spread hate and vile feeling this will BOLSTER their criminal, er um...poltical carreers. I'm glad it got defeated. I'd rather see numbers like 8. What are these psycho hatemongers doing in office. I hate this world.

Re: 48

[sylverwolfe.livejournal.com]

48 people voted into office by people who think just like they do. we open-minded folks, though we are apparently and thankfully not the minority i had thought, are still too soft-spoken in public venues. our country is sadly full of bigots who think that manifest destiny was a great idea that just came before its time. like eric idle sings in his FCC song, "So what? The planet fails. Let's save the Great White Males." i mean, there are still people who make a big deal about women in the House or Senate, women on the bench of the Supreme Court. we need to clean house in washington, but we need to scrape ther est of the country into shape, first.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Whew!

Questions I've never gotten answered...

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

The following questions, I have never had an adequate answer to from any opponent of gay marriage. Ask them of any opponents you know, and watch their eyes cross.

1. Exactly and specifically how does the existence of a married gay couple in, say, Boston, directly and negatively impact, say, a married straight couple in, say, Topeka?
2. Is there even one Constitutional argument that supports your position? References to religious belief and calls upon "tradition" are not Constitutional.
3. If any one straight couple's marriage is genuinely threatened by the mere existence of gay marriage, doesn't it stand to reason that their marriage had severe problems to begin with?

Being gay myself, I get to add the following kicker: "Fine. Then you have to look me square in the eye and tell me that I deserve to be discriminated against on the basis of my genetics, and then you can try to explain why that's different from being racist."

Just doin' my part to cure low blood pressure among right-wingers... :)