Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Baked Beans, and Spam

[filkertom]

Got some wonderfully entertaining spam this morning. Subject line: "LATEST NEWS ABOUT ARAFAT!" Eeyup, he's hangin' and bangin' with Generalissimo Francisco Franco.

So what's the funniest spam you've seen lately?

Comments

[holmes365.livejournal.com]

and they are still dead!

[holmes365.livejournal.com]

the funniest spam I got was about 2 months ago. It was titled THONG YARMULKE!

[bluehamster98.livejournal.com]

I got a piece of spam entitled "Tractor -- Shipped Discreetly!" a few months back, which inspired the title for a post I made last October. :)

Then I got one entitled "Mom?" and the e-mail contained advertisements for a couple swinger's clubs in New York and Viagra-type drugs.

-Karen

[sdorn.livejournal.com]

Hmmn.... I'm just waiting to see the following in my spam-filter folder:

CONFIDENTIAL

Dear Sir,

Good day and compliments. This letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine the future and continued existence of the entire members of my family.

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is (Mrs.) Suha Arafat, the wife of the late head of state of the Palestinian Authority who died on the 11th of November 2004.

My ordeal started immediately after my husband’s death on the morning of 11th November 2994, and the subsequent take over of government by the last administration. The present democratic government is determined to portray all the good work of my late husband in a bad light and have gone as far as confiscating all my late husband’s assets, properties, freezing our accounts both within and outside the Palestinian territories. As I am writing this letter to you,...

[jedilora.livejournal.com]

No email spam, just still dealing with the Telemarketers From Hell. Which, for an update, have called twice since their supposed removing me from their list.

Well, that's why I have a CD player.

[admnaismith.livejournal.com]

I deleted it unread, but the header was:

She will call it MOBY

[smallship1.livejournal.com]

I don't look at it. I hate and fear it. I particularly hate the random-strings-of-words kind, because I know there's some kind of meaning or purpose to it that I can't see and I know it's inimical to me. I get fifty to a hundred spam messages a day and I can't delete them fast enough.

Anyone know a spam filter that works with AMEOL?

SO, uh, sorry...what was the question again?

[shadowcat48li.livejournal.com]

a 419 Scam letter wanting help to bring a Nigerian astronaut stuck on Mir home... this was about 6 months ago mind you.
I didnt save a copy... but I did forward a copy to a friend at NASA. who was amused

has to be said

[ruisseau.livejournal.com]

Baked Beans are off!

[poltr1]

Well, it's been a long time -- at least a year -- since I got the one for "Dimensional Warp Generator Needed". That's my all-time most humorous spam message I ever received.

Most of the ones I've received in the past month have been run-of-the-mill spam. In other words, the usual suspects: Viagra, Cialis, Canadian pharmacies, cheap software, smileys, and screensavers.

Although I did get one for Zyban (or for quitting smoking) recently that featured a hideously disfigured mouth. Reminded me of the American Cancer Society's "Smoking Is Very Glamorous" campaign of the '70s. And I love the ones that come from people with names like "Overthrew R. Responsive", "Manipulations R. Contractor", and "Medalists Q. Cavorted".

And the ones that include pictures with adult content to advertise their XXX servicez? Hey! Free porn for me! :-) Although I'd prefer to not receive such in my inbox since I didn't ask for it, and if I had kids under 18 and online, I wouldn't want them receiving it. BTW, isn't it illegal to send unsolicited explicit pictures in email? (Another vote here for the .xxx domain for smutsters).

Now, to find a spam-eater based on regular expressions, so I can build some text patterns for the program's seek-and-destroy mission.

[arensb.livejournal.com]

Have you tried SpamAssassin? I found that once I had seeded its Bayesian database properly, it was properly detecting something like 95% of spam, with a very low rate of false positives.

[poltr1]

My ISP used to have SpamAssassin. I liked it. Then they went ahead and replaced it with SmiteSpam without telling us customers. :(

SmiteSpam catches a lot, now that it's set up properly, but there's still a rather sizeable chunk that sneaks through. There are a few false positives that end up with a spamscore between 4 and 7, but I can handle them easily. Items which score 8 or more get the "I only accept mail from people on my whitelist" message.