Oh, For Cryin' Out Loud

[filkertom]

In spite of every bullshit reason the movie industry has come up with for why their revenues are down 8% this year -- everything from gas prices to instant messaging, and of course bootlegging over the Internet -- moviegoers put the blame squarely on the lame-ass movies that are being made.

So how shall one of the biggest movie-making companies in the world deal with this problem?

The Internet Movie Database has a page up for DisneyToon Studios, which will be bringing us, along with the already-announced Bambi II, the much-clamored-for Brother Bear II, The Fox And The Hound II, Cinderella III, The Aristocats II, and The Little Mermaid III.

Comments

[scifantasy.livejournal.com]

OK, I read that as The Aristocrats II, which confused me about three ways...

[ericthemage.livejournal.com]

"That's a hell of an act, Mr. Eisner. What's it called?"

[devospice.livejournal.com]

Finally!

I wonder how the big shots at the movie studios will react to this one. My guess is they'll dismiss it as not a real study.

My friend the_gil_monster reviews bad movies on his Live Journal. Recently he reviewed Dungeons And Dragons, which I haven't seen. But I remember it looked really bad and completely tanked at the box office. But according to one of the comments on the post Sci-Fi channel will be showing the sequel in the coming months. It never ends! We're completely inundated with bad movies and these stupid execs can't figure out why their ticket sales are down. It doesn't take a genius to figure this one out, but it's much easier to blame internet piracy.

See you at DragonCon!!

->Later.....Spice

[denali1.livejournal.com]

Dungeons and Dragons, the movie, sucked cat hock. The ONLY good scene in the movie was Marlon Wayans character dying.

Quite frankly, if I was locked in a room and told I had two choices for entertainment, choices being watching Dungeons & Dragons or reading Jontar*, I would read Jontar.

*NOTE: Jontar is a horrid comic book from back in the 80's. The first issue never saw a proofer, due to all the drawing and spelling mistakes. Several reviewers sent dictionaries to the publisher in protest.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

Will they also release "Michael Eisner vs. Freddie, the Terminator, Jason and Predator IV?"

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

Yes. And they'll call it The Final Chapter. Then the next one will be called The Return. And the one after that will be called The Final Return.

Gessi

[cktraveler.livejournal.com]

Hollywood and the music industry continue to assume that people will tolerate endless repetition, and to some extent they're right. If you make something bland, familiar, and comfortable, you'll sell a lot of it.

You won't, however, sell the kinds of spectacular numbers that they promise their investors. That kind of thing takes cleverness and innovation ... and Hollywood's paranoia about risk makes them suspicious of cleverness and innovation.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Part of the problem is that they don't believe in one quality movie anymore - everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - has to be a damn franchise even if parts 1, 2, 3 & 4 are dead on arrival.

I do book reviews, and I'm finding the same annoying problem there. You can't just write a good mystery, no, you have to have a series in mind when you begin. Preferably a series with a "hook" in it; I think if I see one more book advertised as "including recipes!" or "including knitting/cross stitch/needlepoint pattern" or "with craft instructions!" my eyeballs will spontaneously explode.

They (movies and publishers) are so busy pandering to their preconceived notion of what a rigid demographic wants that they not only don't want to look outside the box, they're terrified of anything that they can't put in a box in the first place.

And for those of us outside the box because we don't exist in their narrow little world, there's not a lot of pickings. Women who like action movies that don't treat every female in them as a disposable ho. Men who don't need to see something blow up exactly every 5 mintues. Anyone who likes psychological horror, not BLOODBATH & BEYOND 15. Anyone who has a grasp of basic plotting and science and would like to see movies that don't insult our intelligence. We flock to "League of Their Own" and "October Sky" and "Batman Begins" and what do the moguls do? Think that this means we want sports movies and mad scientist movies and anything in spandex and a cape and we'll all come bleating back... even though they totally missed the point.


...wait a minute, where did this soapbox come from and how did I get up here?

[ericthemage.livejournal.com]

Preferably a series with a "hook" in it; I think if I see one more book advertised as "including recipes!" or "including knitting/cross stitch/needlepoint pattern" or "with craft instructions!" my eyeballs will spontaneously explode.

Me thinks they're taking the "hook" part too literally.

[kayshapero]

And those of us older than their favorite demographic don't dare tell them what we do like... because if we do it goes away like that because it "skews too old".

Ok, you can have the soapbox back now. :)

[arensb.livejournal.com]

I do book reviews, and I'm finding the same annoying problem there. You can't just write a good mystery, no, you have to have a series in mind when you begin.

I guess publishers aren't targeting me, then. Seems like a shame, since I have more disposable cash than Joe Average Teenager. I try to avoid series, because to my mind, "Volume 19 in the Foo Saga" means "bland franchise pap." Yes, I have friends, reliable friends, who tell me that there are some really good Star Trek and Babylon 5 novels out there, but somehow it doesn't sink in.

About the only series I read religiously is Discworld, and even so, I wish Pratchett would write some more non-Discworld stuff. The Carpet People, The Bromeliad, and Good Omens are both different and good.

[kimpire.livejournal.com]

Hollywood: Learning from its mistakes.

*cough*

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

But what about Death Sheep 8? BAAAAAAH!

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

Crap movies, and crappier theatregoing experiences are why I don't go to movies very often. The last thing I want to listen to when I'm watching a decent movie is some idiot couple behind me who couldn't be bothered to get a babysitter for their five kids aged 6 mos. to 6 years, and thought that Batman Begins would make a good family outing (yes, this happened the last time I went to a movie), or the idiot who plays games on their cell phone through the entire movie. I'm much to apt to commit homicide for infractions like this at this point in my life, so I just wait for the DVD for the most part. But Hollywood doesn't want to know that - they want to blame everybody else. The concept of personal responsibility is a foreign concept these days.

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

Actually, the studios are looking at possibly changing the way they stagger distribution of movies. DVD sales are their biggest moneymaker right now. I for one envision a time when going out to the movies becomes (again?) more of a group experience, such as dinner and a movie for adults and mature teens, or a place for kids showing kids movies. And, IMAX isn't going away.

[kayshapero]

When I went to see Dragonheart way back whenever it was, the folks directly behind me were doing a fairly quiet commentary of the "MST3K" variety. They weren't loud enough to keep me from hearing the dialogue, and their comments were hilarious. Come the end of the movie, I turned and said something like "Thank you, Joel and Tom Servo". Exit, snickering. So it's not always annoying... but that's the only time I can think of that it hasn't been.

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

Bambi II...do his kids die, or, since he's the dad now, does he die? Either way, it'll be so much funnnn. :b

Gessi

[strix-an-stones.livejournal.com]

Maybe it can be proactive, Bambo versus the NRA! That I'd go see. Just, you know, so I could snicker. Or better yet, Bambi's daughter gets into the adult movie industry. There could be a scene with an angry hedgehog screaming, "Come on baby, lose the spots already!"

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

Well, at least they haven't done Robin Hood 3.5 yet :P

[neadods.livejournal.com]

The Sheriff Strikes Back?

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

And of course, "Sucks like a Hoover XXXIII"

[unclelumpy.livejournal.com]

There is a factor they might have overlooked;

During it opening weekend, "The Dukes of Hazzard" movie was #1 at the box-office. From this, we can conclude that this movie appealed to the majority of people who make up the American movie-going public.

Knowing this.....

Would YOU want to risk being in a theatre full of THESE people?

wtf?!

[sylverwolfe.livejournal.com]

okay, admittedly, there WAS a second bambi book written back in the day, Bambi's Children, but The Fox and the Hound II??? and the rest of the sequels and threequels and whatever else? my five-and-a-half-year-old cousin *already* thinks cinderella II was dumb, and now they're making cinderella III? wow. at least the aladdin sequels were direct to video...

Re: wtf?!

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I wasn't gonna go off on this in the main poat -- I'm not sure why, I guess the very existence of these absurd projects speaks for itself -- but, to me, it's symptomatic of the "franchise" mentality.

Studios want properties, not stories. They want stuff they can market, preferably stuff they can market for a long time. Star Wars really blasted this trend into the forefront, and it's never abated -- and, on one level, why should it, given how much money it's made Lucasfilm?

And the studios think that, because people do indeed buy stuff that is marketed, that's the safest way to go, completely ignoring how readily people take up with something new if it's good.

Exhibit A: Finding Nemo. Unlike Toy Story, which at least had the nostalgia factor of favorite childhood toys, Nemo was an amazing crapshoot. The year before it came out, those few who knew about it were wondering, "Who's gonna want to see a movie about tropical fish?" Of course, we all fell in love with it, and why? Because it was good.

Exhibit B: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Not a bad film, quite an interesting film... but even the people who like it (and I more-or-less count myself among that group) tend to think of it as an unnecessary film. The first version, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, was so very good that, even though I grant both Tim Burton and Johnny Depp some sincere desire to do something different with the property, this version is largely, and I think correctly, seen as an attempt to make money and not much else. The fact that it does bring a few new things to the table is a frankly unexpected bonus.

Exhibits C and D: The Disney-made TV versions of Annie and The Music Man. Far be it from me to complain about projects that give Victor Garber more work, and Kirsten Chenowyth was radiant as Marian, but... these were only made to make new money for Disney without actually having to think about what to create.

To toot my own horn for a minute, I worry about this with every project. I released the MarCon concert because it meant a lot to me, and it had a few songs I wouldn't otherwise get to for awhile, and the energy level was astounding; I felt it brought something new to the table. Sounds Familiar is coming along slowly but steadily, amid all the other things I'm trying to do; even though those songs have been available in a few forms, you ain't never heard 'em like this. I feel it'll be worth it, and it's not being released until I'm sure it is.

Familiar, unfamiliar, feh. People want good, dammit.

[jedilora.livejournal.com]

::headdesk::

::headdesk::

::headdesk::

You know, I've actually seen Cinderella 2 and Little Mermaid 2. I did it for a thesis paper on fairy tales evolution through history. I think....I think I need to visit Disney with a clue by four. A BIG clue by four.

Really, there's only one good fairy tale sequel movie. ::points to icon.::

[smegabyte.livejournal.com]

Y'know, crappy sequels are one thing, and crappy threequels are another thing...

And then there's The Land Before Time...Part Eleven (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0424228/), an adventure in pointless sequels carried to ludicrous extremes.

[devospice.livejournal.com]

Holy crap! One more movie and they'll have overtaken Friday The 13th! They already have if you don't count Freddy Vs. Jason.

->Later.....Spice

[mneme]

*g*.

The page linked to appears to be a hoax (I think this is the real disney page), but the point stands.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Not a hoax. I nicked the original link from Animated News (http://www.animated-news.com/archives/00003866.html). More to the point, check out this IMDB search of "Disney" (http://www.imdb.com/find?q=disney;s=all) to see exactly how many companies there are. It just happens that the one in the original link is the only one named "DisneyToon".