Won't Somebody Think About The Children?

[filkertom]

A few months ago, reviewer Moriarty at Ain't It Cool News disgusted most of humanity by naming his child -- no joke -- Toshiro Lucas McWeeny. But actor Nicholas Cage has upped the bar with his new son: Kal-El Coppola Cage.

And I used to think these were bad.

Comments

[pyrephox.livejournal.com]

Kal-El isn't /so/ bad. The kid'll shorten it to Kal as soon as he can toddle, and probably just smile and nod when people call him Calvin for the rest of his life.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

I agree. He'll call himself Cal, which is perfectly normal(ish). And at least he was named after a superhero that everyone recognizes. I'm still wondering what drugs Gweneth Paltrow was on for calling her daughter "Apple."

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

While I was overseas, I attended a Christening for a neighbor's child. Her mom and dad named her... Sheera. As in "the princess of power" Sheera. They cheefully admit that the name came form the cartoon and that they just liked the sound of it.

That poor child is 19 now. I wonder what her childhood was like?

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

Sheera is a punk rocker.

[ratbastrd.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry...

I have an aquaintance who named his son Logan Tiberius, and I mourn for his school days. His younger sister is Callisto, which if its any better, it ain't by much...

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor kid. At least he can shorten it to "Kal", which is a homophone of a more normal name.

[aiela.livejournal.com]

See, some of us give our kids the geeky MIDDLE name. *duck*

[mg4h.livejournal.com]

There's worse. How about Aryan Justice (http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/mmc1/public/mmc1birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h1-4161)?

And the birth announcement over here (http://www.stormfront.org/archive/t-188434Aryan_Justice.html) on a White Power website just to confirm it.

*headdesk*

[jurph.livejournal.com]

He'll end up marrying a LaShonda or a Juanita and they'll have seventeen beautiful babies.

[wiliqueen.livejournal.com]

The question is, is it garden-variety overamped fanboyishness, or just sour grapes...?

[kshandra]

Oh, good lord 'n' butter. I completely forgot that particular wrinkle....

[devospice.livejournal.com]

There's a girl who works at the ShopRite by me whose nametag reads Kymberlee.

From the names site:
I once met a lady named Rodana. I think she runs a successful internet business.

In her spare time she destroys Tokyo.

...and water spills from my nose onto my keyboard. Thanks for that!

[kayshapero]

When I was a kid, with few of exceptions the other kids in the class either had difficult to pronounce last names, or equally hard to pronounce first ones. The teacher always looked so relieved when her or she came to yours truly (maiden name, Jones) and my usual neighbor Arlene Jones. :)

[unclelumpy.livejournal.com]

So he's gonna wrap the kid in mylar and shoot him up in a flying chandelier?

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

I once had a customer whose name was Arwen Evenstar Smith (or some other ordinary last name).

She was under 18. I wondered whether she'd change it once she was of age.

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

If memory serves: "Free", the son of David Carradine and Barbara Hershey, got his name changed to Tommy on his 18th birthday.

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

I keep telling people that they're under no obligation to have children and not to if they don't want to. But they just keep havin' 'em and givin' 'em terrible, *terrible* names. *sigh*

And if you're going to go in that direction, why not make Kal-El the middle name? Isn't that one of the reasons for middle names? They're the second sting...the carrots when you really wanted potatoes and so forth.

Gessi

[gpeefalt.livejournal.com]

Penn Jillette surrenders?

[kshandra]

Yeah, little Moxie Crimefighter came immediately to mind.... (The thing of it is, Moxie Jillette is a COOL f'n name, in a hard-boiled-detective-novel kind of way. Doesn't excuse the middle name, admittedly - but of the two kids, I'd rather be her in six years.)

[tanisnikana.livejournal.com]

Hi, I'm Tanis Nikana. I think my name's pretty cool.

But if you mention Dragonlance, then help you God.

[kshandra]

Your name is pretty cool.

And I find, as I read this, that naming my kids Jen and Kira might actually have been forgivable, by comparison....

[wookiee71.livejournal.com]

If the story wasn't revealed yet, for any who didn't know, Nic Cage got into acting under his own attempt without Francis Ford's help, so he chose the last name Cage after Power Man, Luke Cage.

Comics are big with him. I think it's kinda cool.

I named my dog 'Poozer' after Kilowogg's favorite insult to people. :)

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Toshiro's not dreadful. Exotic, if the kid doesn't look Japanese, but I've heard worse. Wasn't "Tosh" a tough TV character from the 70s or something?

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

No, Toshiro's not dreadful. It's the overall derivation: Drew McWeeny named his kid after Toshiro Mifune and George Lucas.

I'm frankly still amazed he didn't change his name from McWeeny.

[sciffy-circo.livejournal.com]

Okay, my parents whined about how I shouldn't give my kids weird names, because they got beat up. My response: "You apparently thought Adrienne and Andy were perfectly normal names, and we got beat up all the time."

Somehow, I got stuck with me getting to pick the first name, and the father picking the middle name. Or... something like that. So my so was named Xon Wra Ledford (the father's name was Wra II, so we kinda figured what the heck Pronounced zhon ray.). I remember the possible girls names were Xon, Xonia, Xonix, (don't ask...) but we were leaning towards Sierra. My daughter was named Lojen Tinara McClintock. My grandmother's name was Lois Jean, but I'd been using Lojen as an RPG name since about high school, and even on BBS systems. People sometimes called me Jenny. The Tinara comes from an online MUD my ex-husband played, where he was a giant robot/ cyborg, and ended up as the queen of the kingdom. We later spotted the name elsewhere as the Master Thief Savior on stock MUDS using Midgaard as a hometown. So again, we figured what the heck. It could be worse...

People (mostly the foster parents) insisted on calling my son "Joey" because his father loved kangaroos. When Xon was 3, he screamed once, "I not Joey-Roo! Me Xon! Xon! Xon! Xon!", at the top of his lungs, right in front of the case worker. "My name is Xon! I like my name! I'm the only Xon in my class! There's three other Joeys, but only one Xon! I'm Xon!" Then he screamed about how there was only one Lojen, and that was his sister, and he loved her.

The case worker, of course, said, "See, he gets all excited every time he comes over here." I think we replied, "Well, you're the one who called him something other than his name, then wonders why he won't come when he's called, or do what he's told..."

Lojen loves her name too. That same year, we found out Logan was a popular boy's name, so she'll have to deal with that, but she sure sets them straight in a hurry!

Someone once joked I could go to Disneyland, and if we ever got separated, I wouldn't have to wonder if they were my kids or not, because there wouldn't be anyone else with those names. It's kinda the same reason why even my alias has a last name. There's more than one Sciffy out there. Heh, you can google me, and get more hits on Sciffy Circo than on my real name. :P

[armb.livejournal.com]

A woman on the same pre-natal course as my wife thought "Placenta" would make a nice girl's name when she heard the word for the first time. She was dissuaded.

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

All of a sudden, the choices 'Moon Unit', 'Dweezil' and 'Ahmed' sound a lot more reasonable.

Still on the "people are so stupid it makes you want to cry" list is the woman who named her daughter 'Female' (pronounced feh-MAH-leh, no less) because she thought the hospital named your kid for you and not that they were writing in the child's gender...

no kids yet...

[paulk54321.livejournal.com]

And if I ever have a son, I'm gonna name him...
Bill, or George, anything but Sue! I STILL hate that name!

[shadowcat48li.livejournal.com]

friend of mine named his son Tarl Cabot Mckenzie, he went by TC, although when he played HS football, the local radio brodcasters called him Tarl

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

And that boy grew up to be the professional wrestler Rhyno, whose favorite move is the GORE! GORE! GORE!

[/lame-o wrestling humor]

[shadowcat48li.livejournal.com]

then we could talk about the really wacky names that get hung on pedigreed cats and dogs

Fafrhd's given name was Rhett Jefferson Davis Butler

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

Random--the cat I got in the con suite at OVFF in 1992--although lacking in pedigree, is fully named Random Alessandro Newton Ernst Garcia. And my roommate's chocolate lab, Jazz, is properly Jasmodeus Doomtail. Wouldn't you love to see that name on the crawl when they televise the Westminster Dog Show? :)

[shadowcat48li.livejournal.com]

when I was growing up we had very devout christian neighbors, really nice folks too, they had 4 boys, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and another on the way at the time, my parents said they were going to name the girl mary

[xap]

My mom worked with a fellow named Mark for years...his wife was Mary, their oldest Matthew, and the twins Luke & John...when anyone heard all the names, the wife would always point out how glad she was that they'd never had a girl - she just wasn't that fond of Eve and didn't want a Mary junior :)

[bardicwench.livejournal.com]

Heh. Have you read some of my name rants that I post in my lj? I'm a firm believer that naming your children things like this should be considered a form of child abuse.

*sigh*

People don't think. Or they think it's "cute" not realizing that it's really just cruel.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Oh my...