Deadeye Dick

[filkertom]

I post this here strictly to keep from polluting any other thread with it.

You might've heard yesterday that The Real President apparently decided that we, as a nation, weren't killing people quickly enough for his taste, and so decided to start shooting folks his own self.

And, man oh man, have the apologists been crankin' on this one. My favorite quote is from Mary Matalin, who told the Washington Post: "The vice president was concerned. He felt badly, obviously. On the other hand, he was not careless or incautious or violate any of the [rules]. He didn't do anything he wasn't supposed to do." Except, y'know, shoot an old man in the face. I mean, we're talking quail hunting. Did he think it was one big honkin' pissed-off quail sneakin' up on him? (Quote nicked by way of the best source to follow on this story, Josh Marshall at Talking Points Memo.) My second favorite is from The Moderate Voice, which said:

More than ever, Cheney — who is already not exactly a political boost to the administration with anyone except GOP partisans (he does not do well in polls with independents and Democrats) is going to become THE punchline on late night TV, in comedy clubs and on Internet satire sites. Not to mention blogs. This is akin to Gerald Ford bumping his head or Jimmy Carter being chased away by the killer rabbit.

Except, y'know, for the shooting-an-old-man-in-the-face part.

kimpire was waiting for me to comment on this whole thing. But, really, the only comment I can make is... it's Dick Cheney. At best, an old guy not particularly cautious with guns. At worst... Dick Cheney. I mean, of all the things this shooting may be -- accident, tragedy, farce... can anyone honestly say it's a surprise?

Addendum: Given the comments, I guess it is necessary to amend this slightly. I do not believe Cheney shot the guy deliberately. I mean, that's pretty over-the-top, and while we may joke about it here, I'm pretty sure I speak for all of us in saying that we don't actually believe it.

On the other hand, I agree with several other commenters: The first rule of hunting is Know what you're shooting at. And if Dick thought an old guy in an orange hunting vest was a quail... well, maybe he did think there were WMDs in Iraq.

Comments

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

I have multiple theories. My personal favorite is that someone forgot to make the weekly blood sacrifice to him, so he had to take matters into his own hands.

When the news broke here, the local CBS just said, "Vice President Cheney shot a man in Texas yesterday, news after the tournament!" You can imagine the look on my face--from the way they put it, I thought maybe he capped someone for breaking into his house, or asking him about his Halliburton money.

I CNN'ed it in short order, since I was unwilling to wait to find out what Darth Cheney had done. It was an unexpected diversion for a slow Sunday afternoon.

Now. Here's the things I really want to know.

1. Why did they wait 18 to 24 hours before officially notifying the local authorities of the accidental shooting?
2. Why did they choose such a curious way to break the news, via the hunting party's hostess to a 'friendly' reporter?
3. How can they be so callous as to spin this to blame the victim (essentially, "he was standing where the Vice President wanted to shoot", not "Cheney really screwed up and wasn't paying attention").

Of course, had this been a Democratic vice president, the GOP would already have O'Lie-lly and Limbaugh spreading rumors that it was attempted homicide.

[wouldyoueva.livejournal.com]

Of course, had this been a Democratic vice president, the GOP would already have O'Lie-lly and Limbaugh spreading rumors that it was attempted homicide.

Exactly. Could you imagine if, say, Hillary had killed someone with her car in high school? We'd never hear the end of it.

At least we don't have to worry about Cheney running for Prez. I hope.

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

I think the undead are barred from the Presidency, so we should be safe from Count Chen-ula. ;)

Why?

[capplor.livejournal.com]

Why did they wait 18 to 24 hours before officially notifying the local authorities of the accidental shooting?

To drill their friendly witness in the proper story, of course, making it seem either unavoidable or the victim's fault. Alternatively, to make sure the witness was, in fact, friendly.

Why did they choose such a curious way to break the news, via the hunting party's hostess to a 'friendly' reporter?

Huh? What's to ask? They didn't want any inconvenient questions like "Doesn't Cheney know the first thing about hunting safety?"

How can they be so callous as to spin this to blame the victim (essentially, "he was standing where the Vice President wanted to shoot", not "Cheney really screwed up and wasn't paying attention").


Because if it wasn't the victim's fault, it was our Vice President's fault, and we can't have that.

Re: Why?

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

Well, that's the *real* reasons, but I want to hear the White House try to spin it. Ahh, the sound of something evil twisting slowly, slowly in the wind...

[kimpire.livejournal.com]

I merely think it's the funniest thing I've heard in ages.

I mean, the Vice President shot somebody.

I'm just disappointed it wasn't on purpose.

[admnaismith.livejournal.com]

How do you know it wasn't on purpose? Because the media says so? Oh, right, then of course it must be true.

[kimpire.livejournal.com]

...the sheer knee-jerkness of that assumption is mind-boggling.

[tiercel]

I'm not a huge fan of Dick Cheney's by any means, but why would he shoot a 79-year-old man on purpose? This is, by all accounts, a friend and staunch supporter. If, for the sake of argument, he was planning to do something that threatened Cheney in some fashion, you don't think Cheney could come up with a more subtle way to stop him?

The most 'innocent' explanation is plenty bad already

[capplor.livejournal.com]

If the injured party had been a Democrat, or had been vocally opposing some administration policy, I might consider the more evil explanations, but "I was concentrating on the bird & didn't notice the other guy" is bad enough. Anyone with the most rudimentary gun training knows you do NOT shoot when you are not absolutely certain there is nothing you do not want to hit in front of you.

(For the pedantic, this may be somewhat modified in a war where you know that a lot of the things you're trying to shoot are trying to shoot at you.)

Re: The most 'innocent' explanation is plenty bad already

[tiercel]

Oh, the accident is solely Cheney's responsibility. I was just objecting to the above comment implying that it could have been on *purpose.* Even if it had been a Democrat (and what Democrat would go quail hunting with Dick Cheney without a Kevlar vest?), though, I don't think Cheney would shoot him on purpose, because that would be stupid. He's an evil man, but he's not stupid.

The most reprehensible thing about the entire situation isn't the accident, it's the spin of "it was the guy's own fault for getting shot."

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

Because the victim wasn't a Democrat? The datum that he's a lawyer is funny enough, mind you. A myriad Dead Lawyer jokes jostle for attention.

The other datum that the VP was Quayle Hunting was amusing enough.

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but it only goes to prove that as vice-presidents go, he's no Aaron Burr. ;)

[rdmaughan.livejournal.com]

When I first heard about this I thought they said he was Quayle hunting.

The other thought I had was that the victim was a lawyer so even Cheney has his good points.

Good job he was hunting quail as loaded for deer would have been really messy.

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

Of course, if he was lawyer-hunting, he did it in typical Bushie manner: half-assed and incomplete. I mean, jeeze, you point a loaded shotgun at a 78 year old, I'd think you have an odds on chance of killing him by a heart attack, without firing a shot!

[ddrussianinja.livejournal.com]

Well, from the way it sounds, it seems like it wasn't his fault at all, other than the fact that he was hunting.

It's still pretty funny though. ^_^

[sdorn.livejournal.com]

This impression is precisely why the media does an effective job of being incompetent. Rule 1 in hunting safety: you are responsible for knowing what's downrange.

[sdorn.livejournal.com]

I'm not accusing you of being part of broadcast media, but I'm assuming that's where you got that impression.

[admnaismith.livejournal.com]

OF COURSE the media makes it sound that way. What did you expect? If the guy didn't want to get shot, he shouldn't have mentioned the Haliburton contracts while Cheney had a gun. Duh.

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

Actually, you betcha it was his fault. You don't just turn and shoot--if you're holding a loaded gun (and all guns must be assumed to be loaded), it's your responsibility to make damn sure what you're shooting at.

This bullshit about Whittington being in the wrong place is just vile; they're going to blame the victim (again) and pretend they're as pure as the driven snow. Cheney had the gun. Cheney fired without looking. Cheney is at fault. Did he mean to shoot him? No. Is it his fault for being bloody careless? Abso-fraggin'-lutely.

You said an important phrase there: From the way it sounds. That's the way the media is going to spin it for Darth Cheney, who is damned and determined to pretend to never, ever, ever, ever make a mistake. I'd say shootin' a man through rank carelessness is a pretty big mistake.

[skemono.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, some people take issue with the type of hunting Cheney et al. were engaged in at the time.

[ericthemage.livejournal.com]

That's not surprising. Bush has had everything laid out for him, why shouldn't Cheney?

[signy1.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think the NRA has the makings of a great new slogan here.

"Guns don't kill people. Republican politicos kill people."

Seriously, though-- if Clinton had been involved in a hunting accident, he would have been smeared with figurative honey and tied to a nest of red ants. From both sides, really; there's the anti-hunting people, who would have been screaming to high heaven about the immorality of hunting, and the anti-Clinton people, who would have been spinning conspiracies about the attempted murder at a mile a minute. And Little Unsure Shot here is getting a complete pass in the media.

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

Remember... Guns don't kill people - Vice Presidents kill people! :)

[swanofgrey.livejournal.com]

I'm just amused by all this because I live an hour away from the place it happened. I drive through that ranch property every time we go to Mexico. Only ranch around here that has it's very own post office. The lawyer was treated at the hospital just down the street from where I work. I knew about it as soon as the reporters do because my husband works in the news. Everyone around here is making cracks about Cheney going lawyer hunting and several have mentioned maybe wearing kevlar and full face sheild helmets when we see the black choppers hanging around.

[partiallyclips.livejournal.com]

Oh posh on any speculation as to this being intentional. I have found a new quote by Vernon Schryver who combines Clarke's Third Law with Hanlon's Razor into something which I think defines this administration wholly:

"Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice."

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Works for me.

[batyatoon]

... Yeah! I'm a-keepin' that one.

[trdsf.livejournal.com]

That's a .sig right there.

I almost hate to say this, but....

[crwilley.livejournal.com]

In all fairness to Cheney (and having to type that did inspire a bad case of the twitches), would this have been news if it had been someone besides him involved? I'm asking because I'm not certain - how many people are sent to the hospital each year with "friendly fire" hunting injuries?

That said, blaming the victim is despicable (yes, you should avoid walking in front of a gun, but you should also know what's in your line of fire). And Cheney should definitely face any legal consequences stemming from this.

I'm more bothered by the hints coming out that they weren't hunting so much as animals were being put in front of them for the purpose of shooting. Cheney has been documented participating in this kind of "hunt" before.

Re: I almost hate to say this, but....

[capplor.livejournal.com]

Y'know I dont' care if it was "really" a hunt, or not. (I've heard the true story of "Teddy's Bear"). If Cheney wants to play "Great White Hunter" under false pretenses, it's the least of his vices.

Yes, if it were someone else other than the VP, it would not be national news. However, it it were someone else, and we heard about it, we wouldn't have to be speculating about whether he'll face any legal consequences. (I'll make a small wager with anybody that there are none.) We also wouldn't be hearing about how the victim shouldn't have been where he was.

Actually....

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Given our media's tropism for shunting missing white women to the forefront and dwelling on them for weeks, for following every movement of the most minor of celebrities, for treating the most mundane shit as cosmically vital if it's done by someone you've heard of on TV, this is right in character.

Other than that, I agree with you completely, and snorted at the line about the bad case of the twitches.

Re: I almost hate to say this, but....

[swanofgrey.livejournal.com]

I have no love of Cheney... But...

This happened not far from Corpus Christi, and was well within the Corpus Christi's "news area"... Had it been anyone other than the VP, yes it still would have made the LOCAL news. It just would not have been national news like this thing is.

In hunting accidents, it is required to let the other hunters know where you are at ALL times. Especially when hunting quail since they have a tendency to fly low. Charges probably won't be filed unless the lawyer presses charges, which is extremely unlikely. His wounds were not anywhere near life threatening. Eye threatening possibly, had they hit him there, but apparently they hadn't.

The ranch where they were hunting has two specific sides to it. One is for hunting deer, the other is for quail hunting. Not much different than seeding a lake for later fishing.

I'd honestly love to see the man strung up by his toenails, but in this case he seems mostly innocent.

[smallship1.livejournal.com]

I'm not really the first to think of

"She had her apron wrapped around her and I took her for a swan"

in this context, am I?

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

"She'd next to nothing wrapped around her, so I took her to a connnn...."