A Potentially GREAT Bad Movie Weekend

[filkertom]

Well, this oughta be fun.

I'm gonna go on Sunday to see Over the Hedge, which looks pretty darn good. But that's not the focus of my attention this morning.

It appears as if there's a decent chance that the overhyped movie version of The DaVinci Code may actually have a Tomatometer reading in the same general area as that of See No Evil, the WWE-produced slasher movie starring Glen "Kane" Jacobs.

Bluntly, I don't know why anyone's surprised. Not having read the book, everything I've heard about it sounds like The Illuminatus Trilogy Very Lite. But, more importantly, the screenplay is by Akiva Goldsman.

"But he won an Oscar™ for A Beautiful Mind!" I hear you cry. "He wrote Cinderella Man!"

He also wrote Batman Forever, Batman and Robin, and Lost in Space.

I have a theory regarding Mr. Goldsman, and by it I do not mean him any insult -- hell, those three bad films are among the most entertaining cheesy flicks evah. My theory, that which is mine and belongs to me, is this (ahem): Mr. Goldsman doesn't do over-the-top well.

There are a few ways to do over-the-top. Some don't work. Batman and Robin are fighting Mr. Freeze in the museum. One of the guards yells, "Our lungs are freezing!" Hah? B&R click their heels and ice skates pop out. Hah?

(On the other hand, in that very same movie, Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy comes out in a pink gorilla suit, which she slinks out of to the strains of a really good instrumental version of "Poison Ivy". That works. That's one of the only shots in the movie that works for me. Granted, I laughed till I cried. But I guess that's why it worked. It was audacious, not merely dumb.)

Or Independence Day. Vivica A. Fox, complete with kid and dog, outruns an alien fireball, dodges flying auto parts, and kicks in a metal door, all in heels. And we're supposed to be worried about her character and the kid and the stupid dog. Feh.

Then there's my definitive good example, the one that always sets huskiebear to laughing, which is in Tim Burton's Mars Attacks! There's a spaceship landing, see, and a US diplomatic envoy out to meet the aliens 'n' stuff, and there's a red carpet just out there in the landing area, and when the spaceship lands it lowers a ramp that lines up precisely with the edge of that red carpet.

That's funny.

What are your favorite over-the-top movie moments, good and bad? (Although try not to list too many from Mel Brooks, Monty Python, or Abrams/Zucker films -- that's too easy.)

Comments

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Near the end of Major League, in the climatic game against the Yankees, Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) is called in to get one out. The crowd goes nuts, the stadium speakers play Wild Thing at ear splitting volumes and everyone sings along for the entire time Vaughn is walking to the mound and for al his warm up pitches. Totally unrealistic, but so much fun!

One fun "oops" in that scene. The same home-made "Wild Thing" sign is held by fans in three different places in the stadium.

[hughcasey.livejournal.com]

You're right about "DaVinci Code" being a light read (especially compared to R.A. Wilson, for God's sake!). But I did find it to be a well-written page turner. Mr. Brown does that voodoo that heedoo so well. But lackluster editing of the movie can easily turn the plot into either an indecipherable mess or one big yawn, and from what I understand that may be what happened.

Ah, well, I can wait for cable. But I will admit that it is ALWAYS a joy to watch Sir Ian work, and Sir Teabing is going to be a great roll for him.

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

Last night's local 10:00 newscast devoted 10 whole minutes about the "DaVinci Code Controversy", with the bulk of it devoted to horrified evangelicals who couldn't decide if they hated the movie or Catholics more.

Pathetic.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Been here, done this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_Of_Brian).

[drzarron.livejournal.com]

I have to call you on "Mars Attacks!" Its in the same class as "Airplane" and the like as planned silliness. So things like the carpet lining up.. planned silliness.

"ID4", the scene in the tunnel. It wasn't her running in heels, or wrangling the kid and the dog into the workroom, no I can handle that. It was the fact that the fire ball travels in a STRAIGHT LINE! They watch it go past them from the doorway! STUPID PHYSICS!

Consider "Return of the Jedi", why wouldn't Luke carry his Lightsaber in to see Jaba? Why hide it in R2 just to have it whipped out later for slicing and dicing.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Oh, absolutely planned silliness. That's part of the fun, like the Slim Whitman or Jim Brown punching out the aliens or Tom Jones flying the plane. But, somehow, in its own little universe, that just struck me and Les as a Great Moment.

Re: Rerun of the Jedi -- any time a Jedi says, "I have a plan", run.

[solarbird]

So: Baldrick a Jedi? Discuss!

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

I'll do you one better: Darth Edmund.

[ladymer.livejournal.com]

Melchitt is a galactic senator, and Percy a storm trooper.

I hate you both. This will be in my head for a week now.

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

You didn't see poor Captain Percy as the sap who constantly gets his neck pinched by the Adder Lord of the Black?

Hmm... Princess Queenie of Alderan? or Palpatina, the sweetest Evil Empress in the Galaxy?

[ladymer.livejournal.com]

Definitly Princess Queenie. And Nursie as Threepio.

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

And let me guess... Luke Flashheartwalker? Flash Solo? (He ALWAYS shoots first.)

[bald-ruminant.livejournal.com]

Slap Shot--the introductions of the opposing players for the championship finals game:

This young man has had a very trying rookie season, with the litigation, the notoriety, his subsequent deportation to Canada and that country's refusal to accept him, I guess that's more than most 21-year-olds can handle. Number six, Ogie Oglethorpe.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

My favorite over the top moment?

ALL of Commando.

"What did you do with Sully?"
"I let him go."

[pabsungenis.livejournal.com]

Don't knock Batman Forever. Not as good a script as the first two, but Val Kilmer did a great job. Batman and Robin was pure batsqueeze, however.

My favorite bad movie of all time would probably be Hysterical (http://imdb.com/title/tt0085704/) with the Hudson Brothers, Julie Newmar, Richard Kiel, John Larroquette, Bud Cort, Gary Owens, Robert "Exidor" Donner, and Charlie Callas as Dracula.

Without even going into the plot, that (partial) cast list just screams cheese. The plot makes it worse.

"You're Doomed!"
"What difference does it make?"
"Why's he wearing a turtleneck?" "Oh, that's 'cause he's a zombie!"

[sdelmonte]

Ah, the classics. "It's a well known fact that zombies are confused by music" (if I'm quoting correctly).

[pabsungenis.livejournal.com]

...and the fact that not only do the zombies say "what difference does it make?" but they apparently write it, too! The banner over the amusement pier says "HAPPY HALLOWEEN, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?"

One of Roger Moore's James Bond flicks

[capplor.livejournal.com]

I forget which one -- he's being chased on skis, and goes off a cliff with an incredibly long drop. Sure, the super-spy has a parachute, but somehow the Union Jack pattern on it just floored me.

Re: One of Roger Moore's James Bond flicks

[faxpaladin.livejournal.com]

The Spy Who Loved Me. A very, very, very '70s Bond. With the disco soundtrack by Marvin Hamlisch (I think it was the first soundtrack album I ever bought -- to be fair, the only disco track is "Bond '77," but they used that an awful lot in the action sequences...).

Over the top moments...

[nimitzbrood.livejournal.com]

Let's see...

Almost anything containing Arnold has some over-the-top in it somewhere. The Running Man was full of them.

Darkman when he drops the guy:
"You won't be able to drop me! You'll never be able to live with yourself!"
"I'm learning to live with a lot of things."

A good portion of the movie Real Genius. Hell, almost any scene in some ways.

Remo Williams: "In Korea, door handles do not break!"

X-Men: "How do we know you're the real Wolverine?" "You're a dick." "He's real."

Highlander(There _is_ only one.): Any of the interaction between Ramirez and MacLeod.
"I can't swim you Spanish peacock!" "I'm not Spanish, I'm Egyptian."

For some reason I seem to be stuck on 80's films today.

Oh $diety there are so many my brain has suddenly stalled on any more...

[sdelmonte]

The first Mummy film had its moments, such as the Mummy's thralls chanting (IIRC) "I what an arse am I." I think this is a case where the director knew it was cheezy and switched off between playing up the cheese and trying to play it straight. Problem is, the cheese infects the rest of the film. Still, Brendan Frasier is good at cheese.

And we can't forget the Adam West Batman film. Joel Schumacher might have been inspired by that era, but he couldn't touch it.

Favorite Adam West/Batman line...

[nimitzbrood.livejournal.com]

"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!"

Re: Favorite Adam West/Batman line...

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I feel the need to quote myself (http://filkertom.livejournal.com/173860.html):

My favorite line in Batman: The Movie is, of course, everyone's favorite line: Batman saying, "Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!" But that movie also features one of the most beautiful acting moments I know of. Testing the Polaris missile in their war surplus nuclear submarine, the Riddler has, completely by accident, shot down the Batcopter. While his fellow villains are cavorting madly at the impending demise of Batman and Robin, the Riddler freezes in a profile shot, his face filled with dawning wonder as he whispers, "I got 'em." A lot of that show was a knowing, gleeful exercise in camp, but for that moment the camp was shut off, and the Villain had taken down the Hero, and I was chilled, and thrilled.

Re: Favorite Adam West/Batman line...

[nimitzbrood.livejournal.com]

Frank Gorshin was a wonderful actor if anyone was paying attention. Him and indeed many of the actors from that series/movie were highly underrated. To this day I still can't see anybody but Gorshin as The Riddler.

And you are most correct sir - that is a beautiful scene. :-)

About the only Batman related actor that truly suprised me though was Mark Hamill doing the voice of The Joker in the animated series. He is one of the most amazing voice actors I've ever heard - especially in the fact that he's one of only a few that I _can't_ pick out immediately.

Re: Favorite Adam West/Batman line...

[hughcasey.livejournal.com]

See icon.

Re: Favorite Adam West/Batman line...

[nimitzbrood.livejournal.com]

Y'know - some part of me wants to make a bomb that looks like that and leave it sitting in a stand in the living room just to see what people say. ;-)

Great icon BTW.

*blink*

Batman "bomb" subwoofers! Yes! The Batman version of the Death Star Subwoofer. (http://shorterlink.org/735)

(BTW - Shorterlink.org (http://shorterlink.org) is run by a friend of mine and does the same thing as tinyurl but doesn't pass your name through advertisers.)

[wookiee71.livejournal.com]

Ya know what happens when you break the DaVinci Code? "BE SURE TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE"

[daundelyon.livejournal.com]

Do they hand out free bunny pajamas on the way in? ~_^

[markbernstein.livejournal.com]

The most recent movie to add to my list of over-the-top favorites is Kung Fu Hustle. Chow does a great job of building from the slightly exaggerated, to the cartoonish (the Road Runner style chase scene), to the completely outrageous (the final Toad-Style-vs-Buddha's-Palm battle).

BTW, there's a hilariously snarky review of Da Vinci Code on the International Herald Tribune web site.

[nimitzbrood.livejournal.com]

I actually have picked up the sequel (of sorts) to that: Kung Fu Mahjong (http://shorterlink.org/736)

But I have yet to watch it since it's a Region 3 disc and I haven't hacked my iMac's Superdrive yet.

[the-dark-snack.livejournal.com]

I saw a press preview of "Over The Hedge" on Monday night. Here is my mini-review of it (http://the-dark-snack.livejournal.com/91375.html).

You know, I don't think that "A Beautiful Mind" or "Cinderella Man" were all that well written in the first place.

As for supremely wonderful movie cheese: "The Fifth Element" all the way.

[janet-coburn.livejournal.com]

I LOVE the scene in Point of No Return in which Bridget Fonda dives down a shaft in a hotel just ahead of a fireball, lands at the bottom, and doesn't even have a run in her pantyhose. I'd pay a lot for pantyhose like that.

[admnaismith.livejournal.com]

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. IMO, the best "So gut-wrenchingly awful, it's GREAT" movie ever made.

"Ere this night wanes, I swear you shall taste the black sperm of my vengeance!"

A distant second is Dead Alive, the Peter Jackson flying-entrails fest about a zombie-creating monkey, sending up and outdoing the grossest moments of every horror movie from around 1970 through 1992.

"I kick ass for The Lord!"

[cwsensation.livejournal.com]

Chronicles of Riddick.

Wherein our hero, Riddick, swings down down a cliff on a rope as the melting sunlight comes their way, grabs Kyra--the rough, angry but sexy girl who used to idolize him--and the momentum is enough to carry them back up the fifteen or twenty feet to the top of the cliff once again before the sun can hit them and burn them alive.

Now THAT'S over the top.

--Jer

[gpeefalt.livejournal.com]

John Malkovich's tantrums as Teddy KGB in Rounders.

First when he throws his rack of Oreos against the wall (and Grama just moves his head slightly as they crash about 6 inches from his head)

And the final hand after Mike reveals the nut straight. (It was also very cheesy as the river card was the Ace of Spades. Bum bum bum)

The god of GOOD over-the-top....

[pickledcritter.livejournal.com]

Bruce Campbell

Army of Darkness (really any of the Evil Dead movies, but AoD particularly) is another one of those pick-just-about-any-moment movies, but my favorite is near the beginning, after Ash climbs out of the pit and is MAJORLY pissed off - his whole rant starting with "Awright, you primitive screw heads, see this? This...is my BOOMSTICK!". Ending with "...now I swear, the next one of you primates even TOUCHES me..." and then takes out the pit creature crawling out the pit...

Bruce Campbell is a good actor otherwise (see Bubba Ho-tep for a classic example), but if you need over-the-top done to perfection, there is none better IMHO :).

For a runner up I'd go with Michael Gross as Bert Gummer in the first Tremors :) (I've never seen any of the sequels or the series, so I can't say if the character is as good later on...)