Happy Birthday, Nikola Tesla
Jul. 9th, 2006 07:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
filkertomThe original mad scientist.
If you were a mad scientist, what would be your greatest triumph? Anything -- good or evil. But give a reason. Saying "I will rule the world" isn't enough -- you have to say why it should be you ruling the world. For myself, my greatest triumph would be some form of sustainable long-term youth and health... allowing people to maintain a decently fit twenty-seven-year-old body (including dental health) for an extra thirty to a hundred years.
If you were a mad scientist, what would be your greatest triumph? Anything -- good or evil. But give a reason. Saying "I will rule the world" isn't enough -- you have to say why it should be you ruling the world. For myself, my greatest triumph would be some form of sustainable long-term youth and health... allowing people to maintain a decently fit twenty-seven-year-old body (including dental health) for an extra thirty to a hundred years.
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 12:23 am (UTC)But what will that prove?
It'll show them at Masters and Johnson!
As for myself, I'd invent a probability adjuster. You'd step into it from one end (or be rolled), and stride out the other end as your absolute best genetic possible self, set to about 21 (if you'd achieved it.) Cured of everything, best expression of your genetics, smart, clear eyed and bursting with health and vitality.
I assume there'd be a line.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 12:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 01:48 am (UTC)There'd still be lines, though.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 12:37 am (UTC)See, every mad scientist sets out to conquer the world. But only the truly great ones can truly project fear and terror into the hearts of men with nothing more than the merest fateful pronouncements. You have to be able to do The Voice.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 12:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 01:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 12:52 am (UTC)It's just one of those freedoms I think people should have available to them.
If it weren't flight then it would be either super speed (think original Flash - Barry Allen). Either that or something to cause the world to have to slow down a little. I'm all for progress but the constant push forward is being done mostly "at all costs" and needs to be changed.
If I were truly mad I would like to create something that causes society to not need to work to survive but rather work for what they want to do instead.
Yeah, yeah...pipe dream, I know.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 01:09 am (UTC)And when I want to take a month off to conquer some mid-sized european nation with my robotic cats (complete with sonic purr attacks), I'd just set it on "Enlightenment" on the way out the door.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 01:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 02:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 01:24 am (UTC)Then when the oil economy collapsed, I'd gleefully inform the leaders of the various Arab states that they will now get their fondest wish. The West will leave. We'll take our awful cultural influences, our trade, our aid, and our cheap wheat and go home.
The only states that would have access to my power would be republics with complete civil rights for all citizens. I imagine Canada will be first to get the bounty..
Canada
Date: 2006-07-10 01:38 am (UTC)Ben
Re: Canada
Date: 2006-07-10 02:23 am (UTC)Hell, if they weren't down to one baseball team, I'd move there!
Re: Canada
Date: 2006-07-10 04:10 am (UTC)Re: Canada
Date: 2006-07-10 05:53 am (UTC)It's a Kingdom.
No, it's a dominion.
No, it's a Constitutional Monarchy.
No, it's a floor wax.
No, it's a dessert topping.
Will you people up north make up your mind already? Sheesh!
Re: Canada
Date: 2006-07-10 01:04 pm (UTC)There's this nude woman in a bath holding a maple leaf. That's great, great, but we need a doctor, got to have a medical opinion.
There's a nude woman in a bath with a doctor — that's too sexy. Put Red Green there watching them, that'll take the curse off it. Now, we need children and animals.
There's two kids admiring the leaf, and a dog admiring Red Green who's showing how to use the leaf to cover the nude woman. Uhh — international flavor's missing — make the kids Asian. Maybe North Korean? No, no, they're out of favor. Never mind, we'll get Chinese, it'll be cheaper. So, there's this nude woman....
Re: Canada
Date: 2006-07-10 12:46 pm (UTC)Ben
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 01:29 am (UTC)Total cultural implosion. Instant global pandemics. The collapse of the airline, rail, transport and car industries. Governments lose all power except for geographic administration, because their entire citizenry can emigrate in ten minutes if they don't like a new law.
Truly global job markets. Global pricing for everything, because you can always get it cheaper elsewhere. Much-reduced shipping delays. Languages and cultures consume each other to form Darwinian hybrids. Psychological problems skyrocket for forty years as there's nowhere to go to get away from your problems, pursuers or tormentors any more.
The global property market collapses, as everywhere is now five minutes from everywhere else, and you can get the views piped in. People can now live anywhere and have the entire world to choose from in where they shop, hang out, work, and send their kids to school. Every business is international. Regionalism dies. Jingoism dies. Racism goes chaotic. Entire economies choke and die, only to re-emerge up to fifteen years later as stripped-down hyper-tuned essences of their former selves.
Tickets to major sporting events move out of the realm of the merely expensive and into the stratosphere, as six billion people now have the capacity to turn up at the stadium / sporting field with half an hour's notice. Sporting bodies take full advantage of this and start selling by auto-extending auction, depriving scalpers of their livelihood. Post-game riots go global.
Police forces from around the planet join forces and jurisdictions to combat criminals who can jump from London to Nepal to Outer Coolangatta in the space of two minutes. Society seesaws violently between total repression and incredible freedom. Politicans crack under the pressure and are carted off to the funny farm or coronary ward in droves.
Charismatic loonies and their followings rise and fall. The old advertising industry loses its grip and falls screaming into the abyss. A newer advertising industry takes its place and markets everything on the planet to six billion consumers.
Chaos, panic, dogs and cats living together!
Do I get my Mad Science membership badge now?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 02:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 02:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 05:58 am (UTC)"And here's an interesting mad chortle I collected from Lex Luthor when he discovered red kryptonite. Oh, you'll find this amusing, it's an insane giggle from Dr. Strangelove, short but with a piquant after-tone. Now over here in the anime section we have a fine sample of Haruko from her flcl days..."
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 02:08 am (UTC)1. I've already got the maniacal laughter down.
2. I know experienced theater professionals that can provide excellent dramatic lighting.
3. I would threaten the world with my ozone depletion devices, which would be deployed by my fleet of remote controlled zeppelins--proof that I am indeed a mad scientist and not just an angry or upset one.
4. Globally mandated 4 day work weeks.
5. Clothing-optional Fridays.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 02:44 am (UTC)"What, me sparky?"
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 03:37 am (UTC)Oh wait. You said Mad Scientist, not Mad Politician.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 09:44 am (UTC)Imagine what'd happen when what's effectivily a small amount of anti-matter would suddenly appear... say inside a politians head for example, or as a peaceful example, the reaction chamber of a rocket, or reactor of a power station.
Of course, the first example gives one the ability to assinate anyone, anywhere... upto and including destroying whole cities. The latter gives you something constructive to offer. Build a solar power station to power the device, and you have limitless clean energy with zero transmission loss.
Of course, you could just use it all to build a generation type starship, and blow up the earth behind when you leave.
Oh, and I don't know if I'd be any better at ruling the world, but I could hardly f*ck it up any worse than the current lot!
Although, being able to say, "we do it this way or your head explodes and I send for your replacement" might tend to get things done a bit quicker.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 01:08 pm (UTC)Of course then everyone on the ship would be wiped out by a disease spread by a dirty telephone... ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 01:11 pm (UTC)well, it beats starting a rumour about a giant star-goat coming to eat the planet!
It suddenly occurs to me...
Date: 2006-07-10 01:09 pm (UTC)This...could be bad....
Re: It suddenly occurs to me...
Date: 2006-07-10 01:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 01:13 pm (UTC)I'll invent the FTL drive, and then rule other worlds! Bwahahahaa!
Re Tesla...
Date: 2006-07-10 02:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 05:07 pm (UTC)And they said I was Mad, MAD **cackle**
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 06:15 pm (UTC)*runs off to hide*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 07:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 11:31 pm (UTC)This would not allow me to rule the world, and really why would anyone want to, but it would make the world a far more polite place... particularly once the global satellite network came on-line. Then, none would dare oppose me... except Gandhi... but his military isn't that powerful... non-violence.... bah! Oh crap, I'd have no weapon against them. They would all end up rich with wonderful wives and idyllic lives.
Alright, my ad:
ISO one partner to change the world. Must have the ability to destroy peace freaks and other goody-goody types. Henchmen only permitted with mutual approval. Quiet, mysterious females preferred. Please respond with picture and your view of the perfect world. Karmanics, Inc. is an equal opportunity employer.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-11 07:04 am (UTC)1)Programming and debugging
2)Plugging yourself into the Net a la Neuromancer
3)VR
4)Prosthetics
5)No need for (some) peripherals
*"Sound" without speakers
*Surround sound from anywhere in the building! (MP3 players are still around, but without the earbuds)
*No more computer-related repetitive stress injuries
*Still being able to "type" if you hurt your hand
*Eyes as a camera, ears as a microphone, etc.
*Monitors, with their limited resolution and size, become obsolete.
6)Telepathy with other humans to an extent, with the computer as a go-between
7)Changing the radio station without using the buttons
8)Fixing things(or at least determining problems easily)
9)External memory(to an extent. Unless it can be made analog)
10)More streamlined translation of books etc.
Sure, there'd be disadvantages(viruses, oh god). But then, it's mad science: I did it because it's cool.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-12 12:14 am (UTC)In the same jar.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-12 04:48 am (UTC)