Spam of the Week

[filkertom]

Two of 'em, actually. First was something sent by "ABODULATIFE YOUSEF". I don't know how to do that to mysef, George.

Second was this:

From: "love nature" < protection energy@ g m a i l.com >
Subject: Invulnerable Stone
Dear Sir,

Believe it or not, but this Stone makes you to be Invulnerable.
This Stone filled with very Strong Energy, it will come powerfull in Danger or Accident.
You can test it by cut/hurt your hand using knife.
Using knife it leaves only little scratch or little wound.
Using very sharp knife/blade it leaves little wound but not till bleeding.
This Stone specially filled with protection energy but also have another benefits:
- Increase Self Confidence.
- In a real Fighting, you will have very strong Inner Power, be UntouchableMan
- Safe from Criminal with any kind of Weapon.
- Safe[Decrease] from any kind of Accident.
- Safe from any kind of Magic.
- Protect you on Haunted place, they will move or make distance with you.
- Bring more Luck.
- Make better Aura, more easy to Attract people.
- Increase Supremacy.
You can get it only US$1000, Very Cheap than hiring Security Guard and
All Benefits you Get.
If you have any Questions please Contact me.

Thanks,
Willy

I almost want to give the guy money just for coming up with this. Almost. There are attached graphics of the Invulnerable Stone -- gee, why don't I want to open them...?

Anything silly in your filter?

ETA: I put some spaces in the e-mail address, to defeat any harvesting software. Just 'cause I'm contrary.

Comments

[sdelmonte]

Lots of Russian. And today, something of an Asian linguistic nature. I find it interesting how much non-English spam there is. Clearly the spam economy is global, too.

[beldar.livejournal.com]

The comics geek within me is trying to place where I've heard the stone story before. Could this be what Green Lantern lamps are made of? Any relation to Mandarin's stones?

Too bad this is fake... or is it? =D

As for spammers, I really appreciate the ones who send me stuff in Russian, I just see the Cyrillic alphabet in the subject line and quickly delete.
In English, today I got some variations on "No more credit card debt" and competing spammers offering me "Viagra at $1.64 per dose" and "Viagra at $1.59 per dose" I wonder how low I should let it go before I buy. (Not.)

Two

[ericcoleman]

I posted these on my LJ, but I want to spread the love ...

Last week
"@ spring girls put on their boobs and legs, dont miss your chance"

And what must have been the follow up

"at spring and summer girls put on their boobs and humps, dont miss your chance"

Re: Two

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Hee. In the back of an old Penthouse Forum magazine I used to have were some incredibly inane ads for phone sex lines, my favorite of which was "BOOBS! Pinch them! Squeeze them! Watch them bounce!" Damn good phone line ya got there, Cholly.

The other sex line ad that killed me was, "Lesbians trained to please men!"

at spring and summer girls put on their boobs and humps

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

Damn! I'm laughing now, but I expect some real nightmares later!

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

Damn. Is it just me, or are spammers the modern version of the old ads that used to run on the back page of comics? "X-Ray Specs!" "Charles Atlas Bulk Up Springs!" "Invulnerable Stone!"

... Admittedly, I want an invulnerable stone that works. Especially if it has a cheesy activation phrase or Word o' Power. I didn't see people paying for those things when they were found in the comic book stories, of course. Can you see Dr. Donald Blake sending away to the Asgard Body-Building Institute? "Once I send one-thousand dollars to Norseway Gym, no more bullies will kick sand in my face!"

[stevemb.livejournal.com]

"I want an invulnerable stone that works."

It would probably work like Duck Dodgers' disintegration-proof vest....

[wildcard9.livejournal.com]

What good will that do you? You get disintergrated but the vest is fine. Better get the re-intergration pistol as well.

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

"You say you were beaten with aluminum tennis rackets within an inch of your life while wearing our product? Sir... yes, sir, I understand you thought you'd be able to go into the women's locker room with impunity, but sir... Sir, please, I do need to ask: was the stone itself harmed in any way? It wasn't. Well, I'm sorry, sir, but the stone worked as advertised. It is an invulnerable stone; you'll find that nothing you can do will put so much as a scratch on the stone. What happens to the wearer in the process is not covered by the warranty. Thank you for calling ACME, have a nice time in physical therapy."

[awfulhorrid.livejournal.com]

Well, there was Flex Mentallo from Grant Morrison's version of the Doom Patrol ...

[kinsfire.livejournal.com]

My favorite one so far has been titled: irrefutableGirl in bed with her boyfriend".

I found myself wondering exactly what irrefutableGirl's super powers are...and are they the reason she's having so much sex?

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

Irrefutable Girl: Subconscious telepathy makes her arguments are difficult to dispel. Testing has proven that the more solid her argument is, the more effective her power is.

Thus, "A good government should not need to torture under any reasonable circumstance" held up fairly well, while "The Earth is flat" was accepted for a while before being rejected.

[jss]

I've been getting a lot of "jss's webcam" spams. Um, I don't have one, thanks, and if I did I wouldn't need to pay to watch it.

[isolde-deely.livejournal.com]

these can be a lot of fun :)

[mimiheart.livejournal.com]

You should join http://www.spamusement.com we only play with the subject lines, but it's fun.

Right now, I have "Michael Jakson glued up a person a plaster" as a subject line. This was sent by the same group: "Britney Spirs without the cowards of video"

eta: also, your HTML is messed up...

[skemono.livejournal.com]

Most of my spam is in Japanese, so I don't know.

On the other hand, if that stone's a real product, sounds like something the JREF oughta hear about.

[ashkitty.livejournal.com]

...wow. "Buy my magic rock." There is something really classic about that.

[bosswriter.livejournal.com]

Speaking of spam, have they busted some massive spammer recently? My spam count has been about half over the last few weeks - not complaining mind you.

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

What sort of costume does UntouchableMan have, I wonder?

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

It might be this one. (http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix3/unusuntouchx.htm)

Or, he might be a copycat of Eliot Ness.

[bschilli.livejournal.com]

I've received a couple with the subject "More meat is never excessive" I suspect that they aren't talking about roast beef...

Ben

[ginevra007.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of the ebay entry. Real ectoplasm, compleat with pictures of the ghosts in the cemetary where they found it!

Most of the page was a description of what you were seeing in the pictures and that the suff in the jar was bad luck and they were selling it due to the bad things that have happened sence they owned it.

[looniebin.livejournal.com]

"George" as in "The Chronicles of George?"