Thank FSM For RiffTrax

[filkertom]

Oh.

My.

GAWD.

Anne & I just watched The Last Airbender. Not the superb pseudo-anime series from Nickelodeon, ohhhh no no no no no. Nope, the M. Night Shame-On-You flick.

Thankfully, we watched it with a RiffTrax. M. Night sucked the movie dry of any soul, story, or character. And he really, really can't direct action scenes. (Which I recall worrying about when I first heard he was helming the project.)

What are you worst movie experiences of the past several years? Besides this, I'm pretty sure the top spots go to the Lou Ferrigno Sinbad movie and, of course, The Room.

Comments

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

Thanks to little money for movies, I've been thankfully free of really bad experiences in the last few years. What experiences I've had were cushioned by Rifftrax accompaniment, such as High School Musical and the two "Twilight Saga" films. These films are only watchable with Mike Nelson and party accompanying the disasters.

By the way, given the recent interest in Tron Legacy, I'd like to recommend the "Rifftrax Presents" of the original Tron, with riffing by Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm. Hope they'll be allowed to do the next film when it hits DVD.

[phillip2637.livejournal.com]

District 9. Just vile and ugly from start to finish. Clichéd morality as an excuse for splatter-porn.

[saganth.livejournal.com]

"Isn't She Great" was pretty bad as a comedy, though it did have one fantastic line (probably why they put it in the trailer for it). And "Sin City" was the first movie I ever paid to see in a theater that I walked out on, and I did that 25 minutes into the film. I later saw more of it on cable - wasn't a whole lot better. And I've recently seen some stinkers via Netflix: "Repo: The Genetic Opera", "Bulletproof Monk", "Hollywoodland", "Repli-Kate" and "Comic Book: The Movie". There have been others I got from my local library that I stopped watching, but mostly because they just did not hold my interest without actually being bad (there may have been some lousy ones but right now I can't remember them).

[http://users.livejournal.com/__kat__/]

Out of curiosity, what didn't you like about Repo! the Genetic Opera? Everyone I know that has seen it has either loved it or hated it, I haven't heard any "meh" reactions. I'm on the "loved it" side myself, when you get Anthony Stewart Head singing, I'm going to sit and listen.

[saganth.livejournal.com]

I just didn't care for the style or the content the songs were about - I guess I'm just not a rock-opera fan.

[fredhuggins.livejournal.com]

I went to see Repo at a midnight screening with several very close friends, and the theater was filled with fans of the film. I think I was the only one who didn't like it. All style (and a rather boringly oppressive style at that), not one ounce of substance. And I like musicals, but I just found it distracting and fucking WEIRD that the characters never spoke, only sung.

[ericcoleman]

The Spirit. Did Miller ever actually read the original comic? Never made it through it.

[salkryn.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's because I haven't read the original, but I thought that movie was hilarious, and quite decent taken on its own.

[ericcoleman]

Read some of them ... really, you'll see how revolting the movie is.

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

I watch extremely few movies at the theater, and a lot of what I get via Netflix doesn't get finished. (And I still have yet to watch Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith in either fashion.)

That said, the last thing I watched end to end and hated was (on rental) the first live-action Transformers movie, or (in theater) the three Lord of the Rings movies.

The worst oh-god-I-have-to-sit-through-this movie moment, of course, was being a guest at someone else's house on a convention trip... and sitting through M. Night Shyarightyou'readirector's Unbreakable, which I sum up as a thirty-minute Twilight Zone or Outer Limits episode padded to three stone-dull hours.

[smallship1.livejournal.com]

That seems to me to sum up most of his movies. While I definitely subscribe to the theory that it's not the idea, it's what you do with it, if you're going to reinvent the wheel it might be an idea to make it at least sort of round...

[saganth.livejournal.com]

Oy, I forgot the woodness of the acting and the childish dialogue of the Star Wars prequel films. Or rather, I wish I could forget them...

[batyatoon]

I saw two clips from Shyamalan's adaptation of Airbender and oh my god, I didn't know whether to mock or weep. I don't know how you sat through the whole thing.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Only with the help of Mike, Kevin, and Bill. And Bill declared he was on an M. Night boycott, and was 33 miles down in a bathysphere, until Mike threatened him with having to fly solo for the next Twilight film....

[alverant.livejournal.com]

I don't want many movies in the theater, but the only one I thought was bad was The Island. I went to see that because it's a remake of a movie MST3K did Parts the Clonus Horror (and to see the guy who played Nelix on ST:Voy). That was just ... ugh.

I wasn't too impressed with Sky High either. It felt too cliche and predictable.

Oh and I can't forget Spider-man 3. They need a reboot after that one. Or at least act like it never happened.

[bayushisan.livejournal.com]

For me it has to be the most recent Indiana Jones movie. Now that was a disappointment.

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

Well, it's actually 12 years now, but for my money Armageddon is the wrongest movie ever. They got two things right -- the Moon has less gravity than the Earth, and if you spun Mir for gravity, and stood up, you'd probably throw up. Everything else -- everything else -- is wrong.

My favorite bit, actually, is the crewed Mars rovers with miniguns in the nose.

[fredhuggins.livejournal.com]

You're not giving Michael Bay enough credit. That CGI Bruce Willis was pretty lifelike.

[purpleranger.livejournal.com]

Well, my worst movie experience EVER was Gone With The Wind. I've only seen it once, but that was five times too many. And what really pisses me off was that I was dragged to it when I wanted to stay home and watch The Six Million Dollar Man.

[msgeek.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's the worst movie that's on too many people's "best movie" lists. The sexism...it burns. Same with the racism. Sitting through Birth of a Nation for Cinema 105 was less painful than watching GWTW, and that's SAYING SOMETHING.

My absolute "worst movie that generates the most lulz" is Halloween III: Season Of The Witch. I am hoping Rifftrax or Cinematic Titanic or someone would MST that movie mercilessly. I actually rewatched it recently and was cracking up even without someone MSTing it.

Worst concept that instantly makes me say "Ain't gonna watch it, EVER" -- The Human Centipede I don't like watching torture pron movies in the first place, and this one makes me say "no freaking way." Sadism taken to the nth. No thanks.

I've managed to avoid the Twilight Saga, Harry Potter, The Last Airbender, and a whole host of other movies because I just have a really refined bullshit detector. Maybe I'm becoming "the Russian Judge" in my old age but rarely am I wrong after the fact.

[msgeek.livejournal.com]

Drat, stupid italics. Hey look! You can even see where I put in the bad HTML!!!

[terriwells.livejournal.com]

I managed to watch an online video of someone doing a somewhat-for-comedy review-summary (with spoilers) of "The Human Centipede." I don't even *like* horror to begin with, so I don't know why I didn't just click away. I wish I had. See, I have, unfortunately, a really vivid imagination, and one of the scenes he described stayed with me FOR DAYS...it was so bad I had to work consciously on blocking it out. This is going to sound pathetic, but it almost had me wondering if that's what PTSD is like. (Feel free to flame me for being pathetic; remember, I had this reaction from just listening to a DESCRIPTION, not from actually watching the movie).

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

The trailer for The Human Centipede pretty much shows you everything, including the final result. This is a warning. On the other hand, I enjoyed Roger Ebert's take on the film (http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100505/REVIEWS/100509982):

I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine.

[terriwells.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the warning; my heart goes out to Ebert for actually having to sit through the movie and review it. From what I've heard about the movie, his assessment is totally accurate.

[umbran.livejournal.com]

You were somehow of the opinion that the American South around the time of the Civil War was a picture of enlightened egalitarianism? Or, maybe that when we do historical pieces, we should not represent the faults those times had?

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

On behalf of my friend Ms. Geek, let me point out something about this film, preached to me from my youth as "a classic." Rhett Butler and Scarlet O'Hara are both egotistical jerks, more interested in their own comfort and wealth than in the supposed cause of the Confederacy. They are so self-centered that they can't cope with having a child (in circumstances that we, today, would consider rape).

When the child dies through neglect (admittedly lots of kids died from stupid accidents then) Rhett takes off with the movie's first on-screen "damn" and she rationalizes it with "tomorrow is another day."

In short, they both suck. They were early versions of Paris Hilton and Mel Gibson. And their self-involved lives together are the screen's greatest romance? Ewwww.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

On behalf of my husband umbran, let me point out something about this film (a personal favorite, though I don't believe that means everyone should love it. If we all liked the same things, I would weep at the shortage of Heath Bar Ice Cream).

"Gone With The Wind" isn't a romance. It's a historical pastiche. Rhett and Scarlett are both scoundrels, entirely self-aware of this fact, and refer to themselves as such. They know it. They are merely the framework around which the story is set.

Also, the baby that was conceived in rape was the one that miscarried, not the one that died in a pony-riding accident. Also, the "damn" and "Tomorrow is another day" isn't in response to Bonnie's death; it's after Ashley dies.

I don't deny that the story is twisted, and that it includes sexism and racism - but it's a portrayal of a time and place in history, and I find it entertaining. if you don't, I'll just offer another DVD for you to watch if you come over, and enjoy this one on my own.

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

Well, of course, your mileage may vary and probably will. But I think it amazing that you don't see Gone With The Wind as a romance, when nearly everyone else does.

For my taste, a far better romance is Casablanca. There is a desperation for love and closure in a terrible time there, and of the three people in the triangle (Rick, Ilsa and Victor) none of them are bad guys, only people whom war has screwed around with. Its "historical pastiche" is perhaps just as pastiche-y as GWTW, but its characters are more admirable - and more worthy of our interest.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

I will freely admit that I am not an expert on what "nearly everyone else" thinks, having not polled them on this topic. If you have, I bow to your superior information and expertise. But for myself? There are some romantic scenes in the movie, but on the whole... not a romance.

I will accept that my opinion has probably been colored by having read the book almost 20 times in the last 15 years, though - in the book, the culture and its decline are more clearly the main focus, and I freely admit that the movie doesn't do nearly as good a job of portraying that. Most of my love for the movie, to be honest, is just that it's a shorthand reminder of some of my favorite scenes from the book.

As for characters being admirable and worthy of our interest... heck, I've always been a sucker for an antihero, and I know that's my own quirk. I like reading about and watching flawed characters, I suppose because I am a flawed character myself. I am quite certainly neither admirable nor worthy of interest, and I like the idea that a character like that could still be interesting and significant. Personal preference only, and I can understand why other people might feel differently.

Either way, I promise never to make you watch 'Gone With The Wind' if you promise never to make me watch 'Casablanca,' and to forgive you the fact that you probably also don't share my favorite Shakespeare sonnet (#130), Christmas Carol (David Bowie and Bing Crosby's 'Little Drummer Boy,') or way to prepare eggs (over easy, on a poppy-seed bagel, with American cheese) - and accept that you're quite likely still a pretty cool person - if you will do me the same. :)

Peace?

[umbran.livejournal.com]

If you're going to speak on behalf of another, you might at least do them honor by addressing the question posed to them, rather than an irrelevant tangent. The complaint was about sexism and racism, not about whether Scarlett and Rhett were people you'd like to have in your life.

Oh, and so maybe they suck*. Guess what - there's lots of real world people who do, in fact, suck! We are supposed to expunge that from our literature?

What is this, "Nothing Unpleasant In Movies" Week?

------
*Actually, I think they're products of their time and situations, and showing those results is a major point of the story, but let's take your version for the sake of argument.

[unclelumpy.livejournal.com]

"Attack of the Beast Creatures" and "Despiser".

You CAN'T watch movies like that WITHOUT heckling them.

[fredhuggins.livejournal.com]

Clone Wars. Truman Capote The Hutt my ass.

[capt-video.livejournal.com]

I'm a very non-discriminating movie goer... I paid 8 bucks to see explosions, I'm generally happy if there are explosions.

That said, I've walked out of (and asked for my money back) exactly 2 movies:

"Hello Again" a supposed comedy from the eighties staring Shelley Long (I'm sure at the time we had a reason for wanting to see it... can't imagine what it was)
"Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me". Half way through Fat Bastard's first scene, we'd had enough.

Also have to own up to sleeping through "The Three Amigos" and "Transformers"... both times in the theater!

[stevemb.livejournal.com]

For "the past several years", I'd say The Skeleton Key (not my idea; got dragged in on a group outing). Going back further... I'm not proud of it, but the fact is that I actually paid money to see Batman and Robin.

"Oh, No! Our Lungs Are Freezing!"

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Ohhh, we love that one. After the pathetic ridiculousness that was Batman Forever, Anne, Leslie and I went to see B&R, hopeful that it would be at least as bad, at least as funny, and it was even worse, even funnier. I mean, when they started playing "Poison Ivy" during the lilac-colored gorilla costume dance, we were just losin' it.

[filkferengi]

I'll see you & raise you "Jetsons: The Movie" for which we paid actual full price. Not even euphoria-inducing honeymoon hormones excuse that one. I'm still shuddering two decades later.

[cscottd.livejournal.com]

RiffTrax was the only way I was able to get through Twilight.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Haven't even tried that one yet. The other one I can't imagine without the RiffTrax is Roadhouse. Jayzus, what a vile excuse for a movie.

[johnpatrickmcp.livejournal.com]

I was forced to take my 12yo nephew to see twilight and I wanted to claw my eyes out. I'm waiting till he is a little older then I am going to sit him down and make him read the Dresden Files so he can finally see what good modern fantasy is.

[palenoue.livejournal.com]

Just watched the RiffTrax of Airbender and have to agree with Tom. If not for Mike, Bill and Kevin I wouldn't have lasted ten minutes.

Is there any way the people who enjoyed the animated series could file a class action lawsuit against Shyamalan for permanently damaging a worthy franchise?

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

Oh...since capt_video mentioned walking out, I've walked out of three films I can remember. One was Pretty Woman. Went home disgusted at my watching a rich guy romancing a whore-who-is-not-a-whore-kinda-sorta.

Then, I walked out of about an hour of Clueless, disgusted at the shallow rich yuppie girl that was supposedly the protagonist. I walked across to another theater and caught exactly five minutes of Judge Dredd. Walked out of that. Burned twice in one evening.

[johnpatrickmcp.livejournal.com]

I actually swore I would never see another m. Night Shambalalbingbang movie after the Village. My wife and I saw it opening night our showing was sold out and running half an hour late. We got our seat started watching the movie and I had the big twist figured out 9 minutes into the movie (the guy sitting in front of me bet me $10 bucks I was wrong, but I still walked out of the theater with his money). When it was all said and done I realized why the show was half an hour late. People were so pissed off they trashed the theater. It was the first movie I saw where people booed since Battlefield Earth. As far as I am concerned his only good movie was Unbreakable. Please god someone stop letting this man make movies.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I'll also give him The Sixth Sense, but I never did see The Village or anything after, until TLA. Signs was such a stupid, nonsensical laff-riot that I was put off on M. Night for good. I mean, the opening titles underscored every new name or phrase with "duhn-DUNH" music. It was sad and funny at the same time.

[antinomic.livejournal.com]

Well, I've seen no bad movies this year, thanks to posts like this. Family movie day next weekend, we will check out the last HP, part 1.

[annearchy.livejournal.com]

My most recent really bad movie experience came on Saturday night. We saw SKYLINE, which mostly stank. My hubby said as we left the cinema, "Well, that's $19 we won't get back." And 92 minutes of our lives. Alas, we could have seen RED or HP7.1 or even THE NEXT THREE DAYS at the same multiplex, but my DH thought the SKYLINE trailer was interesting. He actually wanted to see HEREAFTER (and so did I) but we couldn't get there early enough. Bleh.

[tommytoony.livejournal.com]

This was many years ago, but still ranks up as the worst film experience of my life.

"Highlander II"

'Nuff said.