Fun Spam of the Week

[filkertom]

New rule: Never get advice about online drug purchases from anyone named Guadalupe.

How's your unsolicited advertising this week?

Comments

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

Or Cantaloupe, for that matter.

I do not need viagra. I will never need viagra. I do not need any of my primary nor secondary sex charactaristics enlarged, particularly the ones I do not currently possess. Arrrrghhhhh.

[alicetheowl.livejournal.com]

More spam than real mail in my hotmail account, but that's nothing new. Hotmail is my spam magnet, to keep that stuff away from my REAL e-mail.

I wonder how many more times I'll be sent a fake eBay or PayPal notice of fraud on my account before I stop getting those. Likely never. But I do wonder about the level of mentality that has them thinking, "It didn't work the last 6544 times, let's see if it works THIS time!"

I know. I'm giving them too much credit. More likely there's no thought going into it at all. As the name implies, they're randomly casting out the bait, hoping it'll get a nibble.

[morpheus0013.livejournal.com]

I've had a half dozen of those in the last two weeks, all proporting to be from the same eBay member. I've reported each one to eBay's spoof team, who has responded (automatically) that "the appropriate authorities have been contacted."

I'm sort of confused as to why the phishers are using the same eBay identity. Shift that around a bit. Poor "nrtheast" is taking quite a beating.

[morpheus0013.livejournal.com]

*le sigh* Once again, it appears my girlfriend wants me to have a bigger penis.

I don't know how she actually feels about that, but I'm pretty sure my husband wouldn't like it.

[jss]

Y'never know. Even some straight men enjoy it when their female SO straps one on.

My favorite spam

[pickledcritter.livejournal.com]

This was the best this week:

quay was!!!?! retaliate in snack to diaphragm, wise minus hunger strike in flash with sixtieth caboose, mos. to sellout soundly, that sanctuary
roar Taiwanese in efficiency, custom-made godly paintbrush blind date bestseller and HMO prissy the at sporty laboratory: pat of? astrologer
flimsy a entrance ramp the halves omit at juggle, housewares this wt. as edification motor to
meeting as sadistic sturdiness defunct unkindly as prime minister with

------------------------------

[pickledcritter] There was an image at this point, but since I don't download images in my mail, I don't know what it was - I imagine it was the pitch, however :). And to make this even funnier, I can't help but "hear" this first section in a Jon-Lovitz-as-Master-Thespian-esque tone ("ACTING!") in my head as I read it.

Spam continues:
------------------------------
atest double bass Mt., foolish, written this fitful of an hydraulics
empty gusher Communion rubbery, aptly a of as absorption boss date ebony prophecy, principal a conservation world war. climber,
whipping price code weep grasshopper to by and gridlock ruffle staggeringly famously congested at blessed, as
legal pad, in fertilization mandarin orange: so that Tuesday Santa assn., perverted, frieze the shipyard decrepit in undying that
mistrial playing field utility room excited brim concerto World Wide Web narrator sentence fastener, the of mule tome desperation shopping mall, it as leap year,
Oriental of on prejudice, nightmare Catholicism incalculable of an ambivalence the clatter the devotedly. a abhor calcium: manicurist. the harmoniously sass was dove,
well-thought-of swollen poultry, crossword, circumcise incisor monotonously, feed,. pretense gin logging excel
ecosystem the tobacconist and grocery checked roach at and irritant. as

------------------------------

[pickledcritter] Now this second (and last) part was quite a change from the first - instead of Master Thespian, I "hear" this in rapid-fire dialogue - like a Howard Hawks film or a Gilbert and Sullivan patter song.


Y'know, things have gotten really strange (either that or *I'm* really strange...er...uh...) when one starts seeing artforms in spam...

Re: My favorite spam

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

My mailbox is full;
Random words, spurious claims.
I broke my "delete".

[shadowriderhope.livejournal.com]

I was warned of antelope saboteurs.

[phillip2637.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering if anyone has considered a take on Bullshit Bingo (http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/). You get your card and when all the words have been matched from your spam filter/folder/whatever, you "win".

[tigertoy.livejournal.com]

I hate to be a curmudgeon or possibly worse, but I *really* hate spam. It bothers me when people, especially people whose opinions I generally hold in high esteem, promote the sport of spam appreciation, because to my mind it legitimizes spam in a small way. If it becomes cool to read spam messages looking for funny bits, more people start doing it, and more people actually reading the messages will lead to more of them actually falling for the scam and giving the spammer money. It only takes 1 in 10000 to make the spammer very rich.

Spam is sometimes unintentionally funny, but it is never a laughing matter; it is a crime against society and a crisis that is rapidly destroying email as a useful communication channel.

[jss]

Amen. I see the first up-to-34 characters of Subject line by default and never open the spam before hitting Delete.

[nomaddervish.livejournal.com]

I very, very rarely see more than the first few dozen characters of spam's subject line, but I have my definite favorites: All of the spam which claims to be a "final offer" or "last chance EVER!!!" or the like, since it means they'll never send me another "offer" again.

Unfortunately, the evidence seems to be that, like all spam, they're lying.

[capt-video.livejournal.com]

Generally, you only need to read the subject line to fine the funny bits. I've been getting about one a week for the last six weeks or so promising either the slowest shipping know to man or time traveling viagra... "Get your meds by Valentine's Day!"