HP and the Fill In The Blank

[filkertom]

mctabby, known for hosting Summary Executions (actual HP fanfic summaries which deserve a good MSTing) has similarly collected a bunch of the goofiest actual HP fanfic titles you're ever likely to see.

So... got any really, really unlikely Harry Potter titles?

The ideal one would be something that has at least a shadow of a vestige of a ghost of a chance of suggesting something legit -- for example, "Harry Potter and the Bloody Sunday", "Draco Fugit", "A Chyrsanthemum for Severus", "Neville Longbottom and the Scar-Headed Glory Hound", or something like that. Lesser efforts might include "Harry Potter and the Broken Cuisinart", "The 387th Annual Hogwarts Seventh Year Intra-Mural Wankfest (Featuring Real Murals)", or "My Red-Headed Friend Is Visiting". Brief, horrifically painful images, such as "Hagrid Gets A Pony" or "Walker, Texas Granger", are also welcome.

Comments

[scifantasy.livejournal.com]

http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=hpstory

dragonscholar has a generator for these, both serious and silly.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Indeed. But half the fun is getting, or pretending to get, a story idea.

[shadowcat48li.livejournal.com]

I always liked the idea of Harry Potter meets HP Lovecraft, or some assorted threads about other authors writing HP

Harry Potter and the Mountains of Madness
Harry Potter and the gates of the Silver Key
The Doom that came to Hogwarts

What if Tom Clancy wrote Harry Potter
What if PJ O'Rourke wrote Harry Potter

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

A fanfic writer I know of is threatening to do precisely this.

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

I'm probably going straight to the special hell for this..

The Delta of Hermione.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Bwaha! And the sixth-year sequel, Little Birds.

[popefelix.livejournal.com]

Harry Potter and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Everybody Poops, Even Harry Potter

Harry Potter and the Curse of Male Pattern Baldness

Harry Potter and the Botched Pelvic Surgery

Harry Potter and the IRS (or whatever the equivalent is in England)

Harry Potter And The Blowfish

Harry Potter and the Horror At Party Beach

Harry Potter and the Stopped-Up Loo

Harry Potter Calls the Plumber

Harry Potter and the Plumber Who Couldn't Fix the Stopped-Up Loo

Harry Potter Digs a Hole in the Back Garden

Harry Potter Poops in the Hole in the Back Garden

Harry Potter and the Author who was Far Too Amused at Toilet Humour

(those last few were a series, you see)

Harry Potter Learns to Swear

Harry Potter Becomes Vaguely Worried By All These Titles People Are Thinking Up

Harry Potter Gets Meta

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. You must have been thinking of the Harry Potty books.

[ericthemage.livejournal.com]

Harry Potter And The Angry Inch

More "classic" children's novels with Harry Potter

[ruisseau.livejournal.com]

This means the kids will read them!

Harry Potter and the Bridge to Terabithia
Harry Potter on the Island of the Blue Dolphins
The Adventures of Harry Potter and Tom Sawyer
Harry Potter and Eloise take a Bawth
Harry Potter and Sirius, the Farting Dog
Harry Potter Catches the Stinky Cheese Man
Harry Potter and the Garden of Secrets
Harry Potter's Little Princess
A Day No Harry Potter Would Die
Harry Potter and the Phantom Tollbooth
and finally...
Are You There God? It's Me, Harry Potter.

Re: More "classic" children's novels with Harry Potter

[ericthemage.livejournal.com]

Are You There God? It's Me, Harry Potter.

Having actually read the original, that could be a trip.

A few months back

[ottercat.livejournal.com]

We'd come up with Harry Potter and the Chronicles of Narnia -- where Harry steps through the wardrobe.....


How about:

Harry Potter and the Cold Equations
Harry Potter and the City of Gold and Lead

Harry Potter and the (insert random Tom Swift title here)
Harry Potter and the men from mars
Harry Potter and the women of venus
Harry Potter and the Wizard of Oz

[ericthemage.livejournal.com]

Harry Potter And The Technicolor Dreamcoat

[partiallyclips.livejournal.com]

Harry Potter and the Lord of the Flies

Speed 3: Die Hard on a Broomstick

Snapes on a Plane (been done but bears mention)

Harry Movie

...and come to think of it, where WAS Harry Potter in the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny?

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Harry Potter and the Lord of the Flies

Seen it (http://fanfiction.portkey.org/story/4174). (Not work safe, and honestly not that great a fic. Okay plus two.)

Speaking of horrifically painful images . . .

[markbernstein.livejournal.com]

I looked at the list of titles you linked to, saw "Harry Potter and the American Trio", added the word "Idol" after "American", and got a mental picture of a panel of judges consisting of Mad-Eye Moody, Sybil Trelawny, and Severus Snape. The mapping, especially on the latter two, is just scary.

Re: Speaking of horrifically painful images . . .

[djonn]

[earth-shattering KABOOM]

Er, I believe you owe me a new brain; mine just exploded.

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

I suppose "Harry Potter and the Half-Mad Fandom" is too obvious.

[djonn]

Now, then:

Crisis On Infinite Hogwarts
Gilderoy Girls
The Good, the Bad, and the Muggly
Harry (Potter) and the Hendersons
Hermione Granger, Girl Genius
I'm Just Wild About Harry (The Luna Lovegood Diaries)
The Potter on the Edge of Forever
Warwickshire Potter and the Temple of Doom
Where In the Wizarding World Is Carmen Sandiego?
Why Did It Have To Be Snapes?

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

The Good, the Bad, and the Muggly

Okay, that's beautiful.

[gpeefalt.livejournal.com]

A Fistful of Galleons
You've Got Owl
Hairy Godparents (or You Can't Be Sirius!)
Earth Girls Are Weasley


Or here's some musical groups:
Luscious Malfoy
Night Granger

Let's see...

[nimitzbrood.livejournal.com]

Muggle Nights

Muggle Nights - Cumulon Boogaloo

Valdemort's Guide to Proper Skin Care

The Hermione Grainger Picture Book of Trick Turning

Curious Harry and the Scarlet Lady

Harry Potter and the Bad Landlord

Harry Potter Misses the Rent Payment

Muggle Mating Habits by Hagrid

The Complete Nihilistic Existence with Annotated Pictures by Severas Snape

The Unauthorized Biography of The Fat Lady

Fractured Harrytales

Jacking the Broomstick by Harry Potter

Grabbing the Brass Thing by Draco Malfoy


I think I'll go take my medicine now... ;-)

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Ever since the books became gravity wells, I've been referring to them collectively as "Harry Potter and the Doorstop of Doom."

[wormquartet.livejournal.com]

Having spent several minutes racking my usually-rather-clever brain, the only thing I seem to be able to come up with is "Harry Potter and the Porcelain Throne."

I'm sorry.

-=ShoEboX=-

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

What for? After the run of Harry Potty jokes earlier, that's practically canon.

[signy1.livejournal.com]

Owl Through The Night-- this would have to be an epistollary fic, of course.

[unclelumpy.livejournal.com]

Harry Potter and the Crickets

Harry Potter and the Chocolate Factory

Harry Potter and the Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies

Harry Potter and the Pedophile-Attracting Fandom

Harry Potter and the Former Child Actors

Harry Potter and the Republican Noise Machine

Harry Potter and Dawn

Harry Potter and the Jetsons meet the Flintstones

Harry Potter and the End of the World As We Know It

Harry Potter and They Say I've Got Talent

[shadowcat48li.livejournal.com]

Dirty Harry Potter
Harry Potter and the Hendersons

[warinbear.livejournal.com]

Scrying For Dummies, by Professor Trelawney

Harry Potter's Flying Circus

To Serve Hippogryph, by Sirius Black (posthumous)

The Devil Went Down To Hogwarts

Harry Potter and the Fourteen-Inch Cockatrice

Harry Potter's Excellent Adventure

Harry Potter On A Hot Tin Roof

Harry Potter And The Order Of Onion Rings

Mischief Managed -- Harry Potter's Unofficial Guide To Life At Hogwarts

[kimpire.livejournal.com]

In their Jan. 1, 2000, paper, the NY Times put up a joke best-seller list from the year 2020. The first three Harry Potter books (being the only ones that had yet come out at the time) were still on it, as were Harry Potter and the Initial Public Offering and Harry Potter and the Receding Hairline (described as "A British man battles an insidious force.") There was a third title I can't recall.

[youngcurmudgeon.livejournal.com]

I'm actually writing the Broadway adaptation of Prisoner of Azkaban for class. With songs such as Get Out Of My Head (the Dementor song), What Are You Afraid Of?, with solos by Ron, Neville, and Snape in drag, and the gospel number Expecto Patronum.

As for titles?

Harry Potter and the Streetcar of Desire.
Harry Potter and the Musical Interludes.
Welcome Back Potter.
Surely You Can't Be Serious! (I am, and don't call me Shirley.)
Harry Potter and the Nightmare Before Christmas.
Four Weddings and a Funeral. (The typical post-Hogwarts fic.)
Harry Potter and the 15-Year-Old Slash Writer.

For more, see the Harry Potter filks site (http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm) if you dare.

[annearchy.livejournal.com]

My daughter is 9 1/2 and finishing 4th grade. She's already a rabid writer, though she hasn't ventured into fan fiction yet...much. She did start a story last summer called Harry Potter and the Showdown at Sundown - a crossover between HP and the Magic Tree House series. Alas, her hard drive crashed, she hadn't backed it up and she lost the story :(

Well, before she gets any further into writing fiction, I need to convince her about why you need to start a new paragraph every time a new character speaks...

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

This (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strunk_and_White) should help.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"Walker, Texas Granger"

*brain breaks*

[droewyn.livejournal.com]

Given the way some of those fanfic turn, I'll go with:

Harry Potter and the Morning-After Hex