Good morning! Here, have a song. From an idea by Bruce Adelsohn. Thanks to Zander Nyrond and Blind Lemming Chiffon for suggesting lyrical tweaks.

Ted Cruz Crazy
Words: © by Tom Smith
Music: "Tom Cruise Crazy" by Jonathan Coulton

Music video for the original song:



Ted Cruz is so in love with freedom
At least all his people tell him so
Hates the poor and doesn't want to feed 'em,
Thinks Obamacare just has to go,
But a functioning government sucked out his compassion,
Good thing he's not Canadian anymore

Ted Cruz is Ted Cruz crazy
Just be glad it's him not you
If you had Ted Cruz's ego
You might be Ted Cruz crazy too
You'd flash your big white phony smile
You'd break Congress's rules
(alternate: "You'd dominate the news")
And you'd be the only man on Earth
Who didn't hate Ted Cruz
Oh no, you wouldn't despise Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz is always getting odder
He knows he'll never be that sane again
And when Ted Cruz looks for cannon fodder
He sees the welfare queens and union men
He knows someday he'll have to play
A very subtle race card,
He reads "Green Eggs and Ham" and gets it wrong

Ted Cruz is Ted Cruz crazy
Just be glad it's him not you
If you had Ted Cruz's viewpoint
You might be Ted Cruz crazy too
You'd threaten the economy
While your colleagues drink their booze
And you'd be the only man on Earth
Who could even stand Ted Cruz
Oh yeah, you wouldn't loathe Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz thinks somewhere there's a place for him
But he's not of this world anymore...

Somewhere in his White House playset
Poor Ted Cruz sits staring at the wall
A voice speaks in his head, and he obeys it
He never fails to heed its call
There are millions who know his name
Everybody hates him
Guess he's just not making himself clear...

Ted Cruz is Ted Cruz crazy
Just be glad it's him not you
If you had Ted Cruz's ambitions,
You might be Ted Cruz crazy too
You'd stomp and scramble over folks
Who have much more to lose
And you'd be the only man on Earth
Who didn't despise Ted Cruz
Oh no, you wouldn't much like Ted Cruz.

Some years ago, our friend Jonathan Coulton (I love being able to put those four words together) did a magnificent cover of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back". The arrangement is... distinctive, especially contrasted with the original song.

Apparently, next Thursday, JoCo's exact same arrangement will show up in an episode of Glee.

Also apparently, they didn't ask JoCo. (Scroll down in comments; a number of online news sources have picked up on the story, including Wired, Wonkette, and the Onion AV Club.)

Obviously, JoCo doesn't own the song -- but he does own the arrangement, and that ownership is subject to protection by copyright. If it were, oh, I don't know, me doing JoCo's version, and selling it for download or putting it on a CD, I'd, y'know, ask first, because JoCo's version has been in the wild for several years and it's pretty well known in geek circles, and because it's The Thing To Do. At the absolute minimum, I'd mention the guy.

This is going on frickin' Glee. Worldwide TV. CDs. DVDs. Karaoke games. It'd be nice to make sure the guy who came up with that arrangement and melody got some notoriety from it.

Not to mention cash. This is Fox, after all.

Sadness. Mathematician and teacher Benoit Mandlebrot has passed away at the age of 85. He gave us fractal math, including one particularly gorgeous set. And now JoCo has to change his lyrics:

Thanks to invader_tak_1 for noticing that Spiff has a new JoCo WoW video:

Well, not the actual final encounter, 'cause I might've had that this past summer, the last time I was at The Ark, and by crackie I'm gettin' back there tonight. And again later. And again and again and again.

Anyway.

There seems to be a difference of opinion, which is just fine and dandy. Some people want to go to BD's Mongolian Barbecue, at the corner of Main and Washington; some want to go to Prickly Pear Southwestern Cafe, several doors south of The Ark. At 5:00 p.m., I am going to be getting a table for at least six at Conor O'Neil's, just a couple of doors south of The Ark. All of these are on the west side of the street, for those coming from out of town.

There is ample parking in the lot on the other side of the block from The Ark [albeit with a one-way street involved], and at the William St. structure. Basically, get to Main and William, one block south of Liberty. For the lot turn west, then right onto Ashley, then right again near the end of the block; for the structure turn east, then left into the structure. They're both right there. Or, if you can find it, metered parking on the street is free after 6:00 p.m. The Ark itself is in the middle of the block on the west side of Main Street between Liberty and William.

I, huskiebear, jss1113, violinsontv, bayushisan, shadowriderhope, and a few other people should be in line no later than 7:00, I'm thinking. archiver_tim, if you're gonna make it, that extra ticket is yours.

So. Who is gonna be at what restaurant tonight, so we can all look for each other?

Those of you who are going to be at the Jonathan Coulton concert at The Ark this Friday: Do any of us want to try to get together for dinner beforehand? If so, let's discuss it here. Points to consider:

• Showtime is at 8:00 p.m.; doors open at 7:30 p.m.
• It will likely be very busy along Main Street, as it's supposed to break 50° Friday.
• Parking will be interesting, for exactly the same reason.
• The more people we have, the earlier we should get together... but some of you are coming from out of town.

So the basic questions are, on Main Street by The Ark or not? Where exactly? And where do we try to park? (I'm shootin' for a handicapped space on Main, myself.)

ETA: Choices along Main Street include: Marnee Thai (which we haven't been to yet); BD's Mongolian Barbecue (very good, but VERY loud); Middle Kingdom Chinese; Gratzi (Very expensive Italian); Palio (different Italian); The Real Seafood Co.; Shalimar Indian (which I'm not even sure is still there); Conor O'Neil's Irish bar; Parthenon; Prickly Pear Southwest Cafe; The Chop House (VERY expensive, uppah crust); and Cafe Felix (another I haven't been to).

Places I'd recommend a little further away include: Zingerman's Deli (by Kerrytown); Miki Japanese (just two blocks off Main); Gourmet Garden Chinese on Stadium; Pizza House on Church (which may also be crowded); Knights Restaurant on Ann Arbor-Dexter Road (the sign is a big chess-knight, no words on it).

March 6.

(h/t shadowriderhope)

At some point I'm going to have to get The Orange Box. I want to play Half-Life 2, and I especially want to play Portal... which, as you very well may know by now, has, as a reward for completing the game, a song by Jonathan Coulton.

There have already been numerous videos, covers, and parodies of this song -- Rob did one for The FuMP, and I've written one myself, which may or may not see the light of day, gotta tweak it some methinks -- but now there's a new take, by cartoonist and animator Eric Schwartz, who's been crankin' out fantastic stuff for a long time now.

On his trusty Amiga.

I had heard a rumor that JoCo did a song at The Adventurer's Club in Walt Disney World.

I don't know if this is actually the case... but one of their continuing characters, Emil Bleehall, did in fact sing one of his songs:

How frickin' much squeeeeeee would that have got with our group?

What other songs would be appropriate for the adventurous age of Nineteen Thirty-Seven?